Friday, September 18, 2015

The White Stuff

You know the most interesting thing about Vienna, Virginia’s, first Diner en Blanc?

No matter what color the attendees were wearing, it would still have been the whitest event around.

(Ba dum bum.)

But seriously, folks – there were so many things that made this event celebrating the Town of Vienna’s 125th year so much fun:

  • Our friend who bought tickets for the event was so enthusiastic about getting them when they went on sale that she scored us the #1 table.
SO good for the self esteem.

  • Table #2 (heh) did not show up for the event…so we invoked the law of adverse possession (“squatter’s rights” for a non-fancy event) and made it our buffet table:
Thank you to Affordable Lawn Sprinklers and Lighting - hopefully the exposure you
receive from this insanely popular blog will make up for our trespasses. 

  • We had white feather boas:
Just like on my wedding day - only with fewer strippers.

  • We had a wine tasting at our table and each person brought a different white wine and described their wine's origin and properties. (Knowing nothing about wine, I figured I'd try and fake it and simply characterize mine with words I use to describe myself, which are "amusing, approachable and easy to pick up at your local wine store.")

  • At the end of the evening, we walked around to the other tables and bartered cookies for wine. And Redi-Whip.
This might be why my daughter is looking to emancipate herself. Justifiably.

  • We had two silver candelabras as part of our table decor, though we were told we could not light them due to the Vienna fire code. We chose to abide by this intermittently, lighting the candles for every photo we took – including the one that made it to the front page of the Vienna Patch.  
Is it wrong that our goal was to get our photos in all the local media?
Publicity whores...all of us.
  • (Aside: this may possibly be the most heinous crime that has ever happened in the Town of Vienna, as Washington Post humor columnist Gene Weingarten mocks the town for here.)

  • A live band at the event performed covers of many popular songs. And trust me when I tell you that you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a bunch of white people “doin’ the stanky leg.” ("Pardon me, Bertram, but did that young fellow just say "stanky leg?")

What wine descriptors would you use to characterize yourself?