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Sunday, January 10, 2010

Dirt Boxing

A new friend from Ireland found Brutalism recently by googling, "story feels so dirty in my ass."

Which first made me think, "Well, that is not the most pristine place to keep a story, Seamus." But it also made me think of the old game that everyone plays while reading the slips of paper in fortune cookies. You know, the one where you add "in bed" to the end of every fortune as you read it out loud. Like, "you'll have a great year" (pause for delivery of tired old joke) "in bed." Or "you will have much success at work" (wait for it, wait for it...) "in bed."

I'd like to propose that from now on, we change the ending to any statement (fortune cookie-wise or just in general) to "in my ass." (Example: "I am so happy with our new pool boy....." or "The priest offered me Holy Communion....." or...well, you get the idea.)

Help me start the movement (heh) by leaving a comment in the form of an unrelated statement followed by an "in my ass."

I cannot wait to see how creative you get...
Brutalism
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43 comments:

  1. aaschirmerJanuary 10, 2010 at 3:04 PM

    You continue to inspire me...

    ReplyDelete
  2. ShutUpandRunJanuary 10, 2010 at 3:18 PM

    My dog just licked me....

    Ewwww.

    PS: how the hell do you find out what people googled to find you (in my ass).

    ReplyDelete
  3. dilettante07January 10, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    Wow! That's quite a fire...

    ReplyDelete
  4. dilettante07January 10, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    I sure do love marshmallows...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dilettard07January 10, 2010 at 5:25 PM

    Good news! Had an appointment with my gynecologist today and he gave me the thumbs up...!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. YinMetYangJanuary 10, 2010 at 5:51 PM

    On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge...

    ReplyDelete
  7. dilettante07January 10, 2010 at 9:11 PM

    Where did I leave my buttplug?

    ReplyDelete
  8. lisa RandazzoJanuary 10, 2010 at 10:54 PM

    I have to go put another log on the fire...

    ReplyDelete
  9. YinMetYangJanuary 11, 2010 at 1:46 AM

    Damn, it's cold...!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Miss JJanuary 11, 2010 at 2:09 AM

    I just stumbled across your blog for the first time today...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Moooooog35January 11, 2010 at 12:44 PM

    I like to be poked with a stick...

    That guy just parked his car...

    I made you a wonderful tossed salad...

    This is GENIUS!

    ReplyDelete
  12. YinMetYangJanuary 11, 2010 at 1:04 PM

    Who left this red hot branding iron here...?

    ReplyDelete
  13. BrutalismJanuary 11, 2010 at 3:10 PM

    I found grandpa's false teeth...

    There is nothing I like better than a good cup of coffee...

    Love is a battlefield...

    I could do this all day...

    ReplyDelete
  14. dilettante07January 11, 2010 at 4:25 PM

    WWJD must be hiding...

    ReplyDelete
  15. BrutalismJanuary 11, 2010 at 6:08 PM

    I could really go for a candy bar...

    I love those stylish pointy-toed boots...

    I need a vacation...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dilettard07January 11, 2010 at 9:00 PM

    I love the smell of Irish Spring

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dilettard07January 11, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    Frosted Luck Charms--they're magically delicious...!

    Just trying to attract more visitors from the Emerald Isle [no! not there! well OK, just this once...]

    ReplyDelete
  18. Doug WJanuary 11, 2010 at 9:51 PM

    I don't like to have the Proctologists finger......

    Be careful when you stick that thermometer.....

    ReplyDelete
  19. OneZenMomJanuary 11, 2010 at 11:09 PM

    This is my new favorite game ... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. YinMetYangJanuary 11, 2010 at 11:11 PM

    Poop...

    ReplyDelete
  21. BrutalismJanuary 11, 2010 at 11:26 PM

    I just had my annual review at work...

    I enjoy doing crossword puzzles...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Doug WJanuary 11, 2010 at 11:44 PM

    Every time the IRS audits me I get a pain.....

    ReplyDelete
  23. YinMetYangJanuary 12, 2010 at 1:06 AM

    I sure could use a good deep tissue massage...

    ReplyDelete
  24. YinMetYangJanuary 12, 2010 at 1:20 AM

    Hey honey, could you help me? I have an itch I can't reach..."

    ReplyDelete
  25. dilettante07January 12, 2010 at 4:57 AM

    Did you hear about the rocket launch?

    ReplyDelete
  26. HelenJanuary 12, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    Inspired by botanical and fruit extracts, these refreshing formulas buff away tired-looking skin ...

    ReplyDelete
  27. BrutalismJanuary 12, 2010 at 12:21 PM

    I love you commenters...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anna LeflerJanuary 12, 2010 at 6:21 PM

    From an actual fortune that I keep taped to my monitor:

    "The world will soon be ready to receive your talents..."

    [ouch]

    I am SO making this post a permanent part of my lifestyle. Forever.

    ReplyDelete
  29. dilettante07January 13, 2010 at 3:11 AM

    Anna--

    Life just keeps getting weirder...

    ReplyDelete
  30. YinMetYangJanuary 13, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    I have a hot cup of coffee....

    ReplyDelete
  31. ChristinaJanuary 13, 2010 at 7:18 PM

    I like that your blog is interactive...

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. The AbsurdistJanuary 18, 2010 at 4:30 AM

    I still love Shel Silverstein....

    ReplyDelete
  33. susMarch 17, 2010 at 1:56 PM

    I used to know a guy that played a similar game. He'd end pretty much every sentence with "in accordance with the prophecy." He said it lent importance to every thing he did. . . in my ass.

    ReplyDelete
  34. BrutalismMarch 17, 2010 at 2:58 PM

    SUS - I am so in love with "in accordance with the prophecy". I may steal that.

    Thanks for visiting Brutalism. I love new readers...in my ass.

    (My word verification for this was "tershi" which is frighteningly close to "tushie")

    ReplyDelete
  35. UnknownFebruary 15, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    I know I'm late to the party, but here goes: It's so cavernous in my ass!

    ReplyDelete
  36. BrutalismFebruary 15, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Rich - It's always great to have a new commenter...

    ReplyDelete
  37. lantzFebruary 17, 2011 at 4:08 AM

    I really enjoy your blog (in my ass)...Really though, I find it funny, original and clean (in my ass)....Seriously though, I love your sharing (in my ass)....

    Thanks for the chuckles (in my ass)

    http://lantzzsrantzzs.blogspot.com/

    Lantz

    ReplyDelete
  38. BrutalismFebruary 17, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Lantz - Thanks for reading. I always love having new readers...

    ReplyDelete
  39. Lovey SunshineMarch 18, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    How did I miss this marvelous game? (in my ass).

    Although from the title of the article, I thought you were going to wax philosophical about the 'dirtbox milkshake' (not in my ass)

    ReplyDelete
  40. Doug WMarch 19, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    This Column has a Life of It's Own.....

    ReplyDelete
  41. Trout AlmondineMarch 19, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    There's a substantial penalty for early withdrawal...

    BP geologists found a rich deposit...

    And now, Ms. Middleton will ascend the aisle...

    I'm terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your mother...

    That's no moon, Mr. Solo, it's a space station...

    If you really want a great weekend away, I know the best place you can possibly go...

    You've got lung cancer? They've found a cure for that...

    ReplyDelete
  42. Mister MisterSeptember 7, 2014 at 11:01 AM

    Oh my! I've been searching and searching for this post for 3 1/2 years... And I finally found it! In my ass.

    ReplyDelete
  43. BrutalismSeptember 7, 2014 at 3:51 PM

    Mister Mister - Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I do so love to have new visitors.....

    ReplyDelete