Thursday, January 22, 2026

Trivial Pursuit

Once again, I found myself at my favorite local trivia night last night. And once again, I cared way more about potentially winning the "best team name" designation than I did the actual trivia contest. 

Which is a good thing, as our team came in 17th out of 26 teams. (It was a tough night.)

I am, however, delighted to share that WE WON BEST TEAM NAME with the following:

"I like my beer like I like my Spice Girls...English and bitter."

D - I - Yeccchh

A faithful reader shared that she recently read an article about at-home pap smear tests. 

Without even considering the gynmastics required to execute this maneuver, let's consider that OB-GYNs go through multiple years of higher education to learn to do this effectively, safely, and correctly. My medical training primarily consists of playing the board game, "Operation" and watching The Pitt.

This disturbing revelation follows my complete horror a few years ago when I discovered there were at-home colonoscopy screening tests. I began reading about these when I heard them advertised on NPR and then abruptly stopped when I learned what they entailed (tail...heh). Look, there is a reason you get knocked out for a colonoscopy and it's not the physical discomfort - it's the utter humiliation. In a medical facility, you take a nice nap, wake up, refuse eye contact with your doctor, and hope everything is normal so you don't have to endure the shame for another ten years when that doctor has hopefully retired. You know, the way god intended.

The real kicker here is that with the insanely high and rising costs of health insurance, we are now being directed toward doing much of our own medical testing. So without going too far into a spiral of how we're paying so much more for so much less, I've decided to focus on the potential upsides of where taking on our own medical care could potentially lead, including, but not limited to, the following:

  • Prescribing prescription drugs. >sings< "Popular. I'm going to be pop-uuu-lar." 
  • Using medical lingo. I look forward to tossing around phrasing such as "looks like a case of borborygmi secondary to an acute abdominal catastrophe" instead of saying "I have a rumbly in my tumbly."
  • Requiring people to refer to me as "Dr." My parents will be instantly prouder and I cannot wait to attend my next high school reunion for the name tag alone.
  • Wearing scrubs. The adult garanimals. Sign me up!
I can write my own doctor's note to miss work,
Brutalism

Impossible To Say This Name Without Gesturing

While celebrating my mother-in-law's 85th birthday this past weekend, we spent some time looking through photos my sister-in-law had included in a video she created for her mom. 

As they are part of an Italian Catholic family, many of the photos were from baptisms, first communions, and other Catholic rites of passage. 

When we came across a photo of my husband's baptism, someone asked, "Who is that person in the photo? Who is Tim's godfather?"

To be funny (and because I hate silence), I was about to insert, "Vito Corleone” into the conversation, as he is perhaps the most well-known, quintessential Italian godfather of all time. 

But before I could speak, my mother-in-law blurted out, "My uncle, Gigi Pepe!"

Ladies and gentlemen, I stand corrected. Gigi Pepe is unequivocally the most quintessential Italian godfather of all time.

Capisce?

Brutalism

Friday, January 09, 2026

Dilettante 2.0(26)

Last year's attempt at trying something new every month was a rousing success - ergo, I'm doing it again!

Last night was my first activity, and my friend (and one of the original Dilettantes), Amy, joined me.

January - Norwegian language lesson (beginner, obvs), Norway House, Fairfax, VA

Back in early December, I received an email with area holiday events that included a holiday market at the Norway House in Fairfax. This place is about six miles from my house and I was not aware it existed, so I spent a few minutes perusing their web site. During this perusal, I learned that the Norway House provides Norwegian language lessons every Thursday night, with a beginner lesson at 6:00pm, and intermediate lesson at 7:00pm and conversation at 8:00pm. I emailed the instructor and she assured me that even though the class began in January of last year, anyone could drop in at any time and pick up where they were. There were about 20 people in attendance for the beginner lesson, everyone was lovely to us and made us feel welcome, and they offered Norwegian cookies and coffee before we began. And if I may steal an adage from our Greek friends, from there it was all Norwegian to me. It was obvious that over the past year we had missed some crucial vocabulary and masculine, feminine, and neutral articles that would have made this a little more "beginner." Additionally, there are some words that just don't naturally form in this American's mouth (see "kjeks" below), though I did try with varying levels of success. I so want to go back because everyone was so kind and it would be so much fun to learn this, particularly because I absolutely loved Norway when we visited a couple years ago, but I feel we missed the bat (Norwegian for "boat") in actually getting in on the beginner level. Also, sticking with something to the point of mastery goes against all that being a Dilettante means. 

The Norway House
Name of a bakery the instructor owns. 
I appreciate this.
Lesson 1 - I was delighted to learn that 
"Sara has a birthday soon" is "Sara har
bursdag snart" in Norwegian. Really, what
more do I ever need to learn?

February