Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thank You, Sis, May I Have Another?

I rarely write about my sister, because, frankly, I barely know my sister. That's by design, as the following was one of the many incidents that defined our relationship early in life. As the freak show that I was in my adolescence and early twenties, I overlooked most of the psychological torture because I just wanted her to like me. I, apparently, was a total idiot. Anyway:

In elementary school, a teacher had asked my sister to draw a picture of her family. And she did. She came home proudly displaying this piece -- a full-color Daddy with a huge smile on his face, followed by a full-color Mommy with a huge smile on her face. She (the oldest child) came after that, also happy and in vibrant color. As the only other family member, I of course came next in the family line up, right? Oh, silly reader. You're forgetting our cat, Henry. He was depicted next in line. And then? Then it was my turn. A tiny little figure with no facial expressions done entirely in brown.

Don't get me wrong. I find this utterly hilarious (now). I also would love to have it analyzed (though I'm pretty sure I understand the intent). Or maybe just keep it folded up in my purse to offer as rebuttal to the people who think I'm damaging my daughter by not providing her with any siblings...

6 comments:

Dilettard07 said...

Are there really people out there who say you are damaging your daughter by not having another kid? Friggin' Buttinskis. What the hell do they know, anyway? When the hell did having one child become an obligation to have another?

Now it's the people who have three kids who are the real problem. Don't they know that two will always gang up on the third, and the third will become a spree killer? I think "they" should pass a law that if you have three kids you gotta do whatever necessary--adopt, viagra, even (as a last resort) missionary position--to have a fourth child.

By the way, for some reason our camera always captures you as small, expressionless, and all brown. I think I need to take it in to get it fixed or something.

Kathleen said...

I actually spoke to a married couple at a party once who were both only children. They themselves had three children. They were both so bitter about being only kids and felt as though they had been deprived of some fantastic life experience because of it. I believe both referred to their parents as "unbelievably selfish" and warned me against how I would ruin my kid if she was an only. (Silly people -- I'll ruin her no matter what.)

Please get that camera checked out. I'd prefer not to be expressionless and all brown -- though if you can keep me "small", that would rock.

dilettante07 said...

Come to think of it, Patty gave us that camera. Hmm.

Kathleen said...

Hilarious, Dilettante07. And it is not lost on me that brown is the color of poop. I think it was as two-pronged message.

Lovey Sunshine said...

She drew you all poop brown. heh heh heh. That's awesome!

aaschirmer said...

No wonder you like poop