I was very excited about the whole trip except for the flights, since all I've been hearing in the news is that
Apparently, I am not TSA's type, because there were no experiences with full body scanners, although on the way home, I was selected for a random screening. (Which was presented by the security agent with such enthusiasm, that at first I misunderstood and thought that I had won something.)
And I had...a chance to get felt up by a "woman" in front of every single other passenger in the tiny three-gate airport. I mean, sure. I may have envisioned that my first experience with girl-on-girl action would take place with a woman in uniform somewhere tropical like the Bahamas, and perhaps I even pictured her making me take my shoes off and barking orders at me while my husband watched...maybe I had even spent a few moments over the years thinking about how she would rifle through my purse before I left...and how I would feel a mixture of embarrassment, shame and exhilaration unlike anything else I had ever known...
But what I did not anticipate was the part where an obviously grieving woman shuffled by clutching her rosary beads and mouthing a prayer.
Thus ended my adventure on Paradise Island. So to speak,
Brutalism
15 comments:
..and yet...no video.
WTF.
Ah see, the grieving woman is in MY fantasy. We must have had some sort of holiday mind meld.
Moooooog - I did ask. Security screeners don't have much of a sense of humor about that sort of thing. (Or the two fingers in the eyes a la the Three Stooges, FWIW.)
Tante - Weirdo.
I'm so over travelling anywhere that involves the U.S. and their crazy invasive security measures. And you're right. Any attempt to alleviate the situation by being humourous just makes you MORE SUSPICIOUS. :)
VA - They're totally uptight. I mean, what kind of stiff DOESN'T find pretending to light your shoe on fire hilarious?
So, it really is "better in the Bahamas"
"But what I did not anticipate was the part where an obviously grieving woman shuffled by clutching her rosary beads and mouthing a prayer."
The perfect terrorist cover!
Lacochran - No kidding. The rosary beads were sheer genius.
I have been in that airport.
Hope you had a nice time.
Ms. Givens - Were they as "friendly" to you there as they were to me? I will not forget the farewell I received there for a long time...
GG and totally agree that our willingness to get groped by TSA agents depends on the agents themselves. If only they were a more attractive bunch. They should start recruiting, but not getting our hopes up.
StraightGuy - Totally. It's like that old SNL video about how it's not sexual harrassment if the offender is attractive.
from what I understand you can "opt out" of the free porn session and get irradiated instead. so confused. should I wear my best panties or my lead body suit next time I fly?
Dori - Cover your bases (if you will) and go with your best lead panties. As you always do...
Holy shyteballs - hopped over here from your comment on So... what else? and have been laughing my arse off at both your post, and your commenters.
Yes, my girl-on-girl fantasies most certainly had less rosary to them. Maybe some anti-christ logos, or Masonic symbolism at most, but no rosary.
At least they detected the explosives in your hoo ha?
Hot preventative searching action!
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