Which means I was delighted to discover the largest Mermaid convention in the country (world?) happens here in Northern Virginia where I live - at an aquatic center in Manassas (which seems a little far inland, but what do I know?) The event is called MerMagic Con.
It also means for Christmas, I sent my friend the most presumptuous Christmas gift, ever - that being a ticket to MerMagic Con. (Some context: she lives in Manhattan, has more going on in her life than anyone else I know, and my gift to her required a weekend's worth of travel.)
I'm thoughtful that way.
So, several weeks before the event, she let me know she would not be able to make it this year. Rather than let our tickets go to waste, I invited my friend, Lisa to attend with me. And attend we did - last weekend. And while I'm not sure anyone would truly know what to expect at such an event, we found it to be completely eye-opening (in addition to being fun, inclusive, welcoming, interesting, and about 97.8% outside our comfort zones). Thanks to the mermaid community for letting us be part of your world (see what I did there?) for a few hours.
As with all new experiences, we were exposed to many new things (and more than one heinie), which I've captured below.
MerMagic Con 2020 - what we learned:
1. The exhibit hall was fairly small, which led us to brainstorm ideas for how they could expand in the future: t-shirts printed with the phrases, "Got Tail?" and "Got Krill?"; a Starbucks pop-up (think of their logo); celebrity photos with Vince Gill - the possibilities are endless.
2. When you attend the Mermen panel and the moderator asks the five panelists, "What do you like most about being a Merman?" and the first guy excitedly replies, "the tail!" and the next four say something along the lines of "inspiring people/making the day of little kids/letting kids know they can be anything they want" you're fairly certain the first guy would like a do-over for his response.
3. You look like the straightest, most boring person in the room when you are unadorned by any mermaid paraphernalia and flash back to your Camp John Waters experience when you were also the straightest, most boring person in the room. (see photo at left)
4. Custom mermaid tails are no joke. Nused tails were being offered for $3500 and weigh probably 50 pounds. It requires strength and training to swim in these things, and they can actually be dangerous and hazardous to those who are not properly trained. (That's okay, firefighters and cops - you still corner the market on swinging.)
5. People earn their livings as mermaids. Not many, but some. What I wouldn't give to be at that class reunion when a former schoolmate asks, "So what do you do?"
6. In the "Creating your Mersona" panel, a woman sitting in the front row inquired of the presenter, "what age should I be as my Mermaid persona?" and the instructor helpfully noted that to make it easy to remember her backstory, she adds a zero to her real age. The person sitting up front added, "See? I knew Mermaids were older. My sister is a vampire and we always have this argument!" (See: "straightest, most boring person there," in number 3 above)
7. When you miss the "Merwrangling" panel, your friend suggests chatting up a Merwrangler in the hallway for the Sparks notes version of the panel. It is here you learn a Merwrangler acts as a bodyguard and schlepper (once in tails, Mermaids cannot easily get on stage or into a tank without help from another person) for the mermaids. And tells you that Mermaids attract a LOT of unwanted attention from the drunks at Ren Faires. (Aside: Can you imagine being really drunk at a Ren Faire and seeing a mermaid in a tank? Would you immediately begin adding up the tankards of beer you drank or closing one eye to determine if you were seeing things?)
(Ed. Some internet research has indicated most people can't imagine not being really drunk at a Ren Faire. This blog teaches me so much.)
8. You will be simultaneously impressed and slightly horrified when your friend immediately understands what is meant by "LARP" when it is mentioned in a panel. (For the uninitiated, it is Live Action Role-Playing.)
9. After a couple of hours at the event when you become more comfortable with the art of mermaiding, you nod in agreement and solidarity when a panel moderator states, "I didn't think I was going to be a rose gold mermaid, but then I found a rose gold tail and here I am."
10. Being part of the mermaid community is much like being part of the Smurf community, as many words in the MerMagic Con program were converted into portmanteaux e.g., "Creating your Mersona," "Make your own Mercessory," and "Merlympics"
11. There are seminars and panels for things such as mermaid resume writing, traveling as a mermaid, basic tail repair, considerations about getting your own tank, and safe breath holding in the water. Since we had only a few hours there this year, we'll know what to focus on in '21.
12. You are reminded again about how much of a Dilettante you are because you could never get this into anything, and have a healthy respect for those who can and do.
They're mermazing,
Brutalism
1. The exhibit hall was fairly small, which led us to brainstorm ideas for how they could expand in the future: t-shirts printed with the phrases, "Got Tail?" and "Got Krill?"; a Starbucks pop-up (think of their logo); celebrity photos with Vince Gill - the possibilities are endless.
2. When you attend the Mermen panel and the moderator asks the five panelists, "What do you like most about being a Merman?" and the first guy excitedly replies, "the tail!" and the next four say something along the lines of "inspiring people/making the day of little kids/letting kids know they can be anything they want" you're fairly certain the first guy would like a do-over for his response.
 |
| Photo cred: MerMagic Con Instagram |
 |
| That's me at Camp John Waters - clapping appreciatively on the far left, while my friend, Ricky, gets a neck sit. |
3. You look like the straightest, most boring person in the room when you are unadorned by any mermaid paraphernalia and flash back to your Camp John Waters experience when you were also the straightest, most boring person in the room. (see photo at left)
 |
| My mersona is no mersona. |
5. People earn their livings as mermaids. Not many, but some. What I wouldn't give to be at that class reunion when a former schoolmate asks, "So what do you do?"
6. In the "Creating your Mersona" panel, a woman sitting in the front row inquired of the presenter, "what age should I be as my Mermaid persona?" and the instructor helpfully noted that to make it easy to remember her backstory, she adds a zero to her real age. The person sitting up front added, "See? I knew Mermaids were older. My sister is a vampire and we always have this argument!" (See: "straightest, most boring person there," in number 3 above)
7. When you miss the "Merwrangling" panel, your friend suggests chatting up a Merwrangler in the hallway for the Sparks notes version of the panel. It is here you learn a Merwrangler acts as a bodyguard and schlepper (once in tails, Mermaids cannot easily get on stage or into a tank without help from another person) for the mermaids. And tells you that Mermaids attract a LOT of unwanted attention from the drunks at Ren Faires. (Aside: Can you imagine being really drunk at a Ren Faire and seeing a mermaid in a tank? Would you immediately begin adding up the tankards of beer you drank or closing one eye to determine if you were seeing things?)
(Ed. Some internet research has indicated most people can't imagine not being really drunk at a Ren Faire. This blog teaches me so much.)
 |
| Merwrangler. Merwrangling. (photo courtesy of @theMerFriends on Twitter) |
9. After a couple of hours at the event when you become more comfortable with the art of mermaiding, you nod in agreement and solidarity when a panel moderator states, "I didn't think I was going to be a rose gold mermaid, but then I found a rose gold tail and here I am."
10. Being part of the mermaid community is much like being part of the Smurf community, as many words in the MerMagic Con program were converted into portmanteaux e.g., "Creating your Mersona," "Make your own Mercessory," and "Merlympics"
11. There are seminars and panels for things such as mermaid resume writing, traveling as a mermaid, basic tail repair, considerations about getting your own tank, and safe breath holding in the water. Since we had only a few hours there this year, we'll know what to focus on in '21.
12. You are reminded again about how much of a Dilettante you are because you could never get this into anything, and have a healthy respect for those who can and do.
They're mermazing,
Brutalism
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