Cockey

Cockey gets his own post because he's, well...Cockey. This is him visiting over Christmas. He never announces a visit -- just shows up. So this is me wearing sunglasses with my hair pulled back in a ponytail -- hiding the fact that I have not showered or put on makeup because I was not expecting him. Cockey and I met when we worked together for a network security company. His boss was a pompous ass who totally dug me. My boss was a homosexual who (I mistakenly thought) totally dug me. (Note to chicks: when a guy mentions that he likes your shoes or notes what you're wearing every day, it may not be because he digs you -- especially if he has a tiny dog named "Poopies").

Where was I? Ah, yes...Cockey sat near me in the office and decided that we would be friends after he saw an e-mail my mother sent me that included a video clip of a woman with enormous boobs running topless down a beach. You have to know my mom. Cockey decided that he had to know me. Thus, a friendship was born.

Cockey was married to a cool woman named Amanda at the time. They were such a good couple that when he told me they were divorcing a couple of years (and one move to Boston) later, I thought he was kidding me. Wasn't kidding. Also wasn't kidding about his subsequent move to LA to try and make it in the movie business.

One year out in Hell-ay and Cockey did a bunch of extra work, and also landed a speaking/recurring role on a (now-cancelled) TV show called Threshold. (He's on IMDB.com -- Jeff Cockey -- he looks hot in his pictures, but he's a goon.) He's doing okay -- supporting himself with acting. And some writing. And probably some male prostitution...but we're not here to judge.

Every year when we make our pilgrimage to LA, we see him, go to the Vanity Fair party (which he snuck into one year -- greatest acting job of his life), and go out in West Hollywood -- to places like Chi and the Forty Deuce (or is it now Hyde and Les Deux?)

I've already told him that when he hits it really big, I want to be his publicist. I can't wait for all the trouble he will likely get into, when I get to claim he's simply "exhausted."