Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Totally Brutal

Sweet Jesus. Was January the longest month in history? I suppose not drinking will make it seem that way, particularly when the month includes a night out at an Irish bar with friends, my company's holiday party, the most stressful month at work in a loooong time, my birthday and some major challenges for close friends. (Also, what do the Dilettantes really have in common besides a love of the drink?)

It was also a long month because I was not eating sugar, processed food, dairy, or wheat. (Which, frankly, is why you have not heard from me here. I was barely conscious and not at all lucid.)

Which explains why I forgot to share my last few columns with you. Please to enjoy the one where I make lots of thinly-veiled sexual jokes, the one where I mock incorrect word usage (even though I use words incorrectly all the time and my punctuation would make my high school English teacher weep), and today's column about losing weight in a weight-loss challenge. (It was for charity. Do I get a medal?)

I'm going to keep not drinking until April. Because I want to lose all my friends. And I have forgotten my mantra that "nothing funny comes out of moderate drinking." (Even less funny with teetotalling.)

By the way, after our weigh-in last night, the other Dilettantes headed out to Dogfish Head Brewery for celebratory beers and food. I could not go because I had to head home and finish my column. But I didn't miss much, because THEY TEXTED ME PICTURES OF EVERY SINGLE BEER AND DELICIOUS FOOD ITEM THEY ORDERED AND CONSUMED while I ate a Larabar in front of the computer. Beeyoches.


Brett Minor said...

I quit drinking about 20 years ago and it was amazing how many of my BEST friends just stopped coming around.

Anonymous said...

OMG so nice of them to text you. ;)
I rarely drink but my daughter who turned 21 last July likes to get drinks when we go out to eat SO Sunday we got Belini's(?spelling?)and she was totally tipsy and loopy before she was even half done and I was almost done with mine and I was fine. So as we are sitting their I Google "alcohol allergies" and sure enough my daughter who always seems to have something wrong with her is allergic to alcohol. You know what she tells me as we are leaving? She says Dont tell anyone, I dont need them adding another issue to my list. Poor daughter. ;)

lacochran's evil twin said...

*singing* "It's getting to the point where I'm no fun anymore..."

Tim C said...

Brett - I hear ya. I so love a good beer that I will never quit entirely, but I do notice that the drinkers take my abstinenc a bit personally.

Ms. Givens - Bellinis -- cool! Alcohol allergy? Saddest ailment, ever.

LCET - Totally. I'm responsible. I'm not drinking. I suck. Really. I totally suck.