Monday, March 18, 2013

Time to un-eat your lunch

I was recently reminded of a brochure my mother sent me when she taught tennis for the Virginia Beach Parks & Recreation Department. This brochure was provided for the employees who managed the city pools. And frankly, I cannot believe I have not yet shared this on my blog. I recommend reading this in its entirety, but for your added enjoyment, I have highlighted the best parts:



Fecal Accidents - both a concern and an inconvenience.

"A diarrheal fecal accident is a higher-risk event than a formed stool accident."  (Well, duh!). Also? Those volunteers who collected 300 stool samples are probably the same ones who apply to be stool donors. (And really? They cannot find any other type of fulfilling volunteer work?)


"Establish a fecal accident log." (heh heh)

As I was posting this last night, my 7-year-old read over my shoulder and asked what this was. I told her it was information about what to do when you find poop in a pool. Disgustedly, she asked me,  "Why do people even write these things?"

And I replied, "Well, that BA in English from Yale has to be put to use somewhere."

Such a waste,
Brutalism

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

too funny! She knows crappy writing when she sees it.

dilettante07 said...

You are my go-to for all things fecal. Truly. You're the Stool Whisperer.

Barb Schanel said...

Yeah, that's part of why I haven't swum (swam, swimmed?) in a public setting for over twenty years!

Brutalism said...

Anonymous - I'm surprised you were my first comment and not #2.

Tante07 - When do I get my TV show? Can you imagine that casting call?

Barb - Yes. I believe it was when I thought the baby pool was warm because "it was shallow" and learned the awful truth that I gave up on public pools. And the public, pretty much...

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

Didn't you mean "a BM in English from Yale..."?

Brutalism said...

Christian - I love it when you stop by. Indeed I meant a "BM" degree. By the way, did you notice I used without asking or citing you the phrase "un-eat your lunch"?
I suck.

Kind of related: the word I had to type in to prove I'm not a robot is "utepopo"

Stacey said...

It makes me kind of happy that they said poop right off the bat, but then they go and say fecal a million times which is almost as bad as stool. Although fecal response team is sounding better the more times I say it out loud.

As a side note, for some reason I'm about to get kicked out of the library.

Brutalism said...

Stacey - Why do they hafta be such party poopers at the library? (See what I did there? Poop reference!!!)

Incidentally, Fecal Response Team is akin to Team Diarrhea:

http://kcanedo.blogspot.com/2009/06/holy-crap.html

dilettante07 said...

It should really be the Fecal Accident Response Team. Get it? Get it? hahahahaha

Brutalism said...

Dilettante07 - If life was fair, this team would exist.

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

But I think you did warn us that you were going to steal. Plus I believe it was Pat that came up with it so what do I care.