Sunday, April 21, 2013

If I Could Save Time In A Bottle

I have a huge catchall jar in my home office where I toss things that I cannot part with, yet which also have no real value other than reminding me that my youth included a lot of inside jokes I can no longer remember and a lot of mentions of the sex I was not having.

Feeling nostalgic this morning,  I opened the jar and went through the contents to discover the following treasures:

1 - a ring from the Freedom Train field trip 
2 - a piece of the Berlin wall I hacked off myself during a trip to Germany in 1990
3 - two original "I want my MTV" buttons
4 - an "I had sex with ET" button and a "hot cross nuns" button. I have no idea what either of these things means, but am confident that at some point I thought these made me subversive and interesting.
5 - a jaw harp (WTF?)
6 - two Buffalo Sabres hockey pucks (because I am such a huge sports fan)
7 - the cork from the bottle of champagne Canetto had the night we got engaged (and that we offered to share with the homeless man on the steps next to us -- he opted for a beer instead)
8 - the wrapper from a Cohiba cigar
9- an "Ira" key chain. Neither an homage to the Irish Republican Army (although, they do have a number of fantastic premium items available) nor to my retirement account. Rather, it is an homage to my friend, Ira, who not only made this in shop class and presented it to me as a gift, but now that we're adults, hosts us for butt plug themed parties
10 - assorted 80s band buttons (ooohh...the meat puppets...I was so punk)
11 - a humongous button from my tenure as a waitress at the Red Lobster, something I wanted to commemorate after 1) bursting into tears when a customer noted that his "guaranteed 15-minute lunch" took 20 minutes to get delivered to his table and 2) waiting on Rerun from What's Happening! (he was a great tipper). 
12 - a 10 cent stamp from the United Nations
13 - Assorted junior high, high school and college pins - (is it really possible to have Marlin pride?)
14 - a pin commemorating my short stint as the lead singer of all-girls' band [sic]
15 - some kind of psychedelic guitar pick and a giant penny

Wondering when to break it to my daughter that this is her inheritance,


Trout Almondine said...

It's "Jew's harp."

I, uh, have nothing clever to say right now.

Brutalism said...

Trout - I saw it as Jew's harp and also jaw harp. Wanting to be PC, I went with "jaw". (And not for nothing, when I bought this, they tried to jaw me down on the price.)

ClevelandPoet said...

this might have inspired me to go through my huge collection of saved things soon.

I had sex with E.T. is probably my favorite from yours.

Anonymous said...

What I dig the most, is that your life looks a lot like mine. I am suddenly VERY proud of all my Tri Delt pins, my Police treasures (still love that band - why won't they do a reunion tour???) and my Owl Pride pin. Yeah - you have Marlin pride? My mascot was an Owl. Try that one on for size. People look at you really funny....