Monday, July 13, 2009

Smut Peddlers

As further testament to my earlier hypothesis that children's books are filthy (which is supported by examples here and here), I recently discovered the following in a book on my innocent's book shelf:




Based on what he carries, Pig Wig, apparently, speaks very softly...








...and wonders, as any pig with his attributes would, what may happen when he comes into contact with a sweet-looking *feline*...






Fortunately for Pig Wig, his new friend belongs to a sorority, so there is a (ahem)happy ending.



Looking for Tipper Gore's phone number,
Brutalism

16 comments:

Dilettard07 said...

Wow, this is wrong on so many levels.

What kind of wig does Pig Wig have, anyway? Since I don't see any hair atop his (assuming Pig Wig is a boar and not a sow) skull, I can only come up with one other alternative.

Further, this is actually a hidden ad for the pharmaceutical industry. Like the makers of Enzyte or Levitra. There is a certain "moment of discovery" that, indeed, Pig Wig really can "hit it."

Finally, the tiny, nagging homophobe in me wonders where. I mean, the "feline" has a ball...

Forget Tipper Gore. We need Focus on the Family's frontman.

Brutalism said...

I'm telling you...I sometimes wonder if children's book authors are screwing with us. Perverts, all. I was going to mention ExtenZe with the first picture, but worried about what type of traffic that might bring. This is a family site, after all.

Dilettard07 said...

True. You would not want anyone searching "merkin ExtenZe gay sex" to come to this site. Ewww.

Jason said...

Looking more carefully at the pictures (eye bleach at the ready) PigWig has some mighty long eyelashes for a boy, not to mention the floral shirt.

PigWig is either a metrosexual, or a hermaphrodite. Clearly s/he is crossing species lines so what other taboos can we shatter in only three frames?

See what happens? Iowa (Iowa?!) legalizes gay marriage and all hell breaks loose. It's only a matter of time before all opposite marriage is doomed and we're left carrying our pharmaceutically-enhanced bats on our shoulders for all to see.

And when that happens nly the terrorists, spammers and roaches win.

But I repeat myself.

Brutalism said...

And just for the record, these pages *may* have been taken out of order and out of context...

dilettante07 said...

That's how the terrorists do it--they spread their message over multiple pages so that you don't know you're being brainwashed. You may have saved the world by decoding this seemingly innocent children's book.

I'll tell Cheney he can leave the man-safe

ZenMom said...

Geez, I thought Dick and Jane were bad.

dilettante07 said...

PS. Pigwig = Merkin

Brutalism said...

No kidding, ZenMom -- Dick and Jane used to be the dirty ones. And yes, Tante -- I think that might be code for merkin...nice sleuthing.

YinMetYang said...

Just wait 'til you get to Book #10 -- "Rag Gets Wet". SO naughty!

Brutalism said...

Dear YinMetYang - I love that you are familiar with the oeuvre.

Organic Meatbag said...

I have a feeling that Pig Wig is going to hit that shit tonight!

Brutalism said...

Organic Meatbag - I'm positive that Pig Wig totally hit it.

Anonymous said...

Listen, we are the people who grew up watching Speedy McFeely stop in at Mr. Roger's house while Fred was changing his clothes. Why deny our children the same healthy upbringing?

Satisfied in RI

Brutalism said...

Anon -- Exactly! Which is why I have loved all the dirty stuff since I was a wee one -- they feed it to us early. From a pantsless Donald Duck to a promiscuous Smurfette -- there were really no boundaries of decency.

Jason said...

Let's not forget one of my all-time favorites: Woody Woodpecker. We got yer violence. We got yer dismissal of authority. And for the perfect trifecta we got yer sexual innuendo. Heyo!

It's a wonder we didn't all grow up depraved, ranting sociopat...

Uh oh.