Thursday, December 17, 2009

In The Spirits

Some good friends of ours have THE BEST holiday party every year. They hire a bartender who makes specialty holiday cocktails, and a pianist (tee hee) who plays Christmas songs on their baby grand piano and invite about a zillion fun people, which makes for a great evening to which we look forward all year. And because we are such good friends, we and another couple take care of updating the hosts’ calendar while we are there.

This began a few years back after one thousand too many elf martinis. As the hosts had thoughtfully left a white board marker right next to the calendar with their schedules, we thought we'd make a few of their appointments a little more colorful…and add in some of the ones they’d carelessly forgotten.

For instance, "Kelly's party" was easily transformed into "Sniff Kelly's panties", and "Father's Day" was celebrated by a NAMBLA Father/"Son" dinner dance. They were very busy one year, what with all the KKK rallies, Swingers parties and various medical appointments (lets just say that one year saw more than its fair share of boil lancings). Also, for liberal Democrats, they have an astounding number of Mitt Romney fundraisers and NRA Life Member events to attend.

Last year, we had even more fun by re-arranging their Christmas d├ęcor, which found many of the reindeer and (backdoor) Santa figurines in compromising positions.

The hosts love to wake up the day after their party and read about all of the fun events they have to look forward to in the following year. (Hiking the Appalachian Trail with Governor Sanford!) Or so we tell ourselves, anyway. Thus far, we continue to be invited back.

So you can probably understand why we felt completely comfortable wearing the following to their party a couple of weeks ago:

We were totally on the list,


ShutUpandRun said...

Dying laughing over here, because you must be my long list sister - this is something I would TOTALLY do. I love messing with people's grocery lists (adding stuff like hemmroid cream and trojans). Too funny. Love the outfits. You could so get into the white house.

NoShare said...

Re-Arranging Christmas Decor,always a very fun sport. I just hope my neighbor never figures out why his 8 plastic reindeer all keep ending up in a Caligula-esque scene every couple of new meaning to the reason for the season!

Dilettard07 said...

The fact they are from Kentucky, and use that commonwealth's handy-dandy postal abbreviation to denote on their calendar the days over Christmas when they will be there, certainly facilitates the action, if you will.

Heh heh. My secret word to post this was "retingle." Makes me feel like a little girl.

amber morrison said...

Your friends sound like a lot of fun. Though I don't get the joke about Mitt Romney--he is totally going to be our next President...and then the Mormons will take over the world!

Moooooog35 said...

What day is the NAMBLA father/son dinner dance again?

No reason.

dilettante07 said...

Mooooog, just call your local boy scout troop for dates in your area.

JenBC said...

Your commenters are hilarious, as always.

Just shared this post with Tom, who enjoyed it as much as I did. Of course. Your shenanigans are timeless and you're lucky to have cheerful co-conspirators.

Enough fawning. peace out.

Brutalism said...

SU&R - I love that you do that, too. Honestly, unless you write "Trojans" on Great Aunt Sally's shopping will she know you care?

NoShare - Those reindeer are such little minxes.

Tard - If I was an elf, retingle would be my name. Yes, the KY abbreviation certainly comes in handy. Didn't they also have a Blue Fugate reunion to attend one year?

Amber -- they're okay. I'm not sure you'd like them. Raise a glass of Postum for Mitt, everyone!

Moooooog35 -- Sorry. It's on the eventh-say of the onth-may ame-say as every other one.

Jason the Absurdist said...

Brutalism, do you remember the house in SPP that went a wee bit overboard with the xmas decorations year after year? For those who never had the pleasure of seeing it they had an entire 1/2 acre yard *full* of 3-6' tall, light-up figurines of Santa, all of the reindeers(s?), a nearly life-sized creche, trees, candy canes, etc.

It was the darndest thing but every time my brothers and I were in town to visit our parents the thing would get rearranged. We never could figure out who was responsible though we did enjoy driving by to see the modern updates.

At last until the year they put a heavy chain through each figurine with massive padlocks at the ends. Er, or so I'm told.

You haven't seen the baby Jesus until you've seen him pierced with steel chain like a heavy metal drummer.