Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Notes To Self (Holiday Edition)

Thanks to the recent blizzard and lazy holidays there has been a lot more movie and television watching in our house than normal. In addition to killing off the brain cells that the egg nog missed, it bumped us up to the top of the CPS list gave us some insight into just how influential the media is on little minds.  

To wit:

1. I should not let my child watch 'A Christmas Story' as it prompted the following:
  • her to turn to me and ask, "That's crap. Right, mom?" when the dad in the movie opened up the crate and pulled out the leg lamp (perceptive little potty mouth, isn't she?)
  • her playing "mommy's little piggy" during lunch at the local Thai place recently (how does one say "Yes, she *was* raised in a barn" in Thai?)
2. I should not let my child watch 'Best of SNL Christmas skits' as it prompted the following:
  • her to exclaim, "my vagina's in a box" in the middle of a crowded restaurant (rendered speechless here)
3. In an attempt to steer my daughter clear of references to genitalia in boxes, I should not then let my child watch the food network. The seemingly innocuous segment featuring a donut maker dipping a donut into a big bowl of gloppy white glaze prompted the following:
  • "Mom, that looks like throw up" (so much for visions of sugarplums)
Hey, it's cheaper than a babysitter,


    YinMetYang said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    ShutUpandRun said...

    Vagina in a box. Dying laughing. Last night we were watching SNL with my son. The ESPN show was supposedly sponsored by Vagisil. My son is now going around the house singing "I scream, you scream, we all scream for vagina cream." Nice.

    YinMetYang said...

    Maybe next year she'll tell Santa she wants Schweddy Balls under the tree!

    Good times.....

    Dilettard07 said...

    Apparently those leg lamps are commercially available: we saw two houses proudly displaying them in their front windows on just one street in Longmont, CO. So no, little Avery, they are NOT crap.

    Question is: are these commercially available because of the movie or in spite of it?

    dilettante07 said...

    Oh my. Kudos to Avery for using the proper term--not hoo hah, vajayjay, cooter, privates, wizard's sleeve, beef curtains, whisker biscuit, snooch, vertical bacon sandwich, goop chute, etc.

    Now THAT would've been embarrassing.

    Dilettard07 said...

    By the way, did the outburst described in point #2 occur before or after Mr. Cockey's visit? Just something to ponder.

    Moooooog35 said...

    Isn't 'vagina in a box' redundant?

    Brutalism said...

    SU&R - I'm thinking we might want to arrange a wedding now. Your son sounds perfect for my daughter.

    YMY - I can only hope >weep<

    Tard - Wow. Who knew these were so popular in Longmont, Colorado. Makes me think that maybe I could be popular in Longmont, Colorado.

    Tante - Thank you for the Christmas gift. You know...the one that brings all kinds of nice, God-fearin' people to my site. (P.S. "beef curtains" - hah)

    Mooooog - Not to mention kind of physically impossible to pull off. Same as the male genitalia through the bottom of the popcorn box bit -- just doesn't work as well with a vagina... I hear.

    Ann's Rants said...

    Yes, Danger Danger everywhere!

    Keep that kid away from the schwetty balls. Whatever you do. That's what I thought her comment was going to be about the donut holes.

    Happy New Year, and thanks so much for reading my blog.