Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Finding Balance...Sheets

This morning, I did one of those things I would never do if I was not married. (Yes, Mom,...have sex.)

I was actually referring to going to a financial planner. You see, before I began cohabitating with Captain Spreadsheet, I never once thought about investing strategies. Why I ever went to business school is a riot, because the mere mention of finances and ROI and M&E and margins causes my eyes to glaze over....and not in the good way. So, during our meeting this morning, I likely bet it all on red, invested in Enron, or put Canetto's second wife in a good position to be a lady who lunches. (We celebrated increasing our life insurance coverage by planning a nice little hunting trip -- that Canetto thinks of everything!)

This meeting today got me thinking of other things I have done over the past ten (married) years that I never would have done had I spent those years as a single lady. 

I would not have been propositioned by the swingers at my friend's wedding.

I would not have had to worry when my friend noted casually, "Isn't that Tim over there chatting up Halle Berry?"

I would not have had the pressure of keeping my husband's horrible secrets. 

and

I would not have laughed myself silly over an episode or two involving Canetto at the doctor's office that I am not allowed to write about EVER...or else. (See "nice little hunting trip" above).

So I occasionally have to suffer through sex a financial planning session. I'd say it's worth it. This blog ain't gonna write itself.

9 comments:

Dilettard07 said...

I noticed you left out "having a child." I guess you fancied yourself some kind of Murphy Brown?

Brutalism said...

Tard - Don't tell Dan Quayle.

kath said...

Having witnessed the pre-Canetto years firsthand (and far too many of them -- thank God he came along and I could stop chaperoning -- and by chaperoning I do mean yelling at you), I know that this post is your best effort at a love poem to your husband. We all adore him because he made it possible for you to not be living in an alley with no WiFi. The public thanks you, Canetto. And we think it is sweet that your wife loves you too.

PS Team Spreadsheet, my martini-infused croquet team is undefeated. Yes.

Brutalism said...

Kath - you so totally get me. I love you. And the croquet mallet you rode in on.

Moooooog35 said...

I'm the same way.

If I wasn't married I'd have at least, like, ten posts or something that I'd have to come up with new ideas for.

Crazy to think about.

ZenMom said...

It's like you're living a fairy tale, really.

Wuv. Twwoooo Wuv.

Jay Ferris said...

My wife and I have found a happy compromise in our marriage wherein the financial planning and bill paying are all handled during sex. Works great other than some sloppy-looking checks.

lacochran said...

Financial planners have saved me tens of thousands of dollars. Maybe more. Saving money may not be sexy but being able to afford tropical adventures for frolicking sure is.

Jason the Absurdist said...

In the spirit of your last blog post I just have to say that financial planning is a blast....