Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Will Never Look At This Town The Same Way Again

If I've learned anything in the 32 years that I've been alive... is that I do not know how to count.

Today is my birthday. Which means that, as a gift, one of my best friends sent the following line from a work e-mail she received:
"Yesterday the vibrator convoy entered the inner town of [name of European town redacted]."
Which, as far as I know, was not a euphemism. But it will be from now on.

She totally gets me.

We got crushed with snow in the DC area last night and were without power from about 6:00pm on. So, I'm at the office with my 5-year-old today because it is freezing at our house and her school was closed.

As you can imagine, I'm being extra productive.

Leaving early to go home and open all of the fabulous gifts you've surely sent,


Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Happy Birthday!

That vibrator line is awesome, but now I can't get the idea of playing "open up for the choo choo" out of my head. *shudder*

Moooooog35 said...

I don't understand the email.

Is 'Weilheim' code name for 'vagina?'

That would make more sense.

The Vegetable Assassin said...


I've sent you the gift of my admiration and unflinching love. It's greater than any iPad or designer handbag, I assure you.

Jay Ferris said...

Sorry to have missed it, so let's just say this is a really really early birthday wish for next year.

Also, I'm pretty sure that convoy of vibrators was just passing through town on the way to Oprah's house; I hear she loses several hundred of them inside her each year. Yes, that's right... picture it.

Sandra said...

Could you imagine if we actually put our addresses on our profile pages. I bet we would get such good loot on our birthdays! I'd be announcing every day for a month leading up to my birthday! Then again, the address thing might make us more accessable to serial murderers...but still, we're talking lots and lots of presents!!!
Happy birthday girl! Hope your day warms up or thaws, or you at least get the power back.

Organic Meatbag said...

Well sheeeeeeiiiiiiit...happy birthday! I came here just in time! Poooooop!

BlackLOG said...

Most women I know seem to stop counting after well done you on making it to 32