Friday, March 18, 2011

It Is An Honor Not To Be Nominated...

One of my friends just sent the following, noting that several people in her office had received this "award" today: 


How proud they must be. "Accomplishments." Can you imagine learning that you were in line to receive a professional commendation and this is what it turned out to be? I'd trade in the fancy celebratory dinner I had planned for a six-pack of Pabst (hipster product placement alert).

It just screams "lack of enthusiasm" doesn't it? "Yeah, you had some accomplishments...but we're too tired to name them specifically. Keep up the perfectly competent and satisfactory work, though, tiger lap dog."

Can you think of anything more vague? No, really -- can you? What could be less motivating than this wording on a commendation plaque?

Let's see what you come up with, you perfectly competent commenters,
Brutalism

UPDATE: Rodney at Mental Poo linked to this post in his weekly wrap up.  No. You make me laugh, you sexy bitch, you.

6 comments:

The Green, The Bad and The Ugly said...

I don't know what could be more mundane than that but our office gave out "funny" awards one year. They were representative of what everyone was "known" for (like "receiving the most packages from JCrew"...things like that). A guy in our office put together a power point presentation with a slide representing everyone and their award. One "award" was to the EVP's assistant. She's known for always announcing that she's going to the bathroom and that everyone should answer her phone. Her power point slide was an elephant sitting on a toilet.

Brutalism said...

GB&U - And yours was for...

dilettante07 said...

I was once given an "award" for being ambiguously lesbian. Nothing like being "outed" in front of your husband.

Trucking Tumbleweed said...

I worked at a place once where the award was going to lunch with the boss. And he was a real wanker. Nothing like spending an uncomfortable hour with someone you have nothing in common with and you CAN"T EVEN DRINK!

Brutalism said...

Um, Tante -- details?

Trucking TW - Eewww. I worked at a company where the owner would take you to lunch on your birthday. Same thing. He was completely pompous and it was totally uncomfortable and I always looked forward to my lunch hour AWAY from the office. And this was treated like some kind of "special" event. Bleah.

I would rather have received a vague "accomplishments" plaque...

dilettante07 said...

One of those end of the year superlatives thingies at business school. You could tell that the people coming up with the awards ran out of steam when they got to me, and my roommate. Because we hung around together all the time and lived together, we got the "are they?" award. Tard was in attendance and was seriously confused.

I'm mostly pissed that I had to share the award.