Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A Snippet

Some good friends of ours just had their second son. Which means that we get to attend a bris this coming weekend. (Note to self: Vienna sausages are funny in theory but wrong on a couple of different levels when offered as a hostess gift at a bris.)

The bris for their older son was the first I'd ever attended. It was so emotional and the mohel was hilarious (who knew Jews were so funny???), and with the exception of my husband actually turning green while anticipating the inevitable, it was by far the nicest ceremonial rite I have attended that ends with someone getting a body part hacked off over bagels and lox. Or at least one of the nicest.

I'll be the shiksa screaming "Fore!"
Brutalism

12 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

I would have to turn down this invitation on the grounds that OMG OMG OMG I WOULD RATHER EAT MY OWN FOOT THAN WATCH THAT.

Not sure if they have that on the RSVP envelope, but whatever.

Brutalism said...

Moooooog - At first I replied to the invite with the usual, "We're looking forward to it." Which I of course had to change, because really? How can you look forward to this? (I do think they should offer your suggestion as a possible response.)

Dilettard07 said...

I'm sure Hebrew National makes Vienna sausages for just such occasions.

And all of this is hardly grosser than going around in life with a foreskin. Those knuckle draggers...don't get me started. Everyone laughed at them in school. Even the priests wouldn't touch them. The bris is a way to ensure a better life all around.

So you should feel proud, especially if you find those Hebrew National Vienna sausages, to say you are "looking forward to it."

Brutalism said...

Tard - Wow. Even the priests? That must be gross. (A funny Englishman I know has a little ditty to the tune of "My Bonny lies over the ocean" that goes something like this: "My oneskin lies over my twoskin, my twoskin lies over my three, my threeskin lies over my foreskin, oh peel back my foreskin for me..."

Now doing Internet search for "Hebrew National Vienna Sausages"...

Bradford said...

A mohel gets lousy pay, but the tips are great....

lacochran said...

"who knew Jews were so funny?"

Now, *that's* comedy!

ShutUpandRun said...

I just saw a bris on the fifth season of Weeds. I was eating a hot dog at the time. Those Jews ARE funny.

Cornelius Butterfield said...

I bite my tongue and i feel wild pain, frozen, hoping nobody saw me do it, so stupid, but talk about horror/pain getting cut up down there, just the thought makes me spaz, NOT in a good way. Hell, could you think of anything more painful for guy or girl. Any kind of rough work down there is not cool, even for a innocent baby who trusts you, with no idea what kind of crazy shit you're going to do to him. and you invite your friends, have a party. Borders on psycho/cruel/ jail time, ask me. Damn, this is in my head now, I'll have nightmares, thanks a lot.

Miss Spoken said...

You think that's a party? Try going to a female circumcision party ... talk about a riot ....

Dilettard07 said...

So Vienna sausages are a hit at a bris (assuming kosher). What theme food goes well at a female circumcision party?

(I almost bit my tongue and did not post this, but then saw that my secret word was "menhatin" and took that to be a sign from Him.)

JenBC said...

I'm such a busy important person that sometimes I don't have time to read Brutalism in a thoughtful, careful manner. Fortunately sometimes just scanning the header and close is enough to get me giggling. And ditto Iacochran's comment.

pee. s. My word verification for this comment is "ourine." Not urine. Not myrine. Ourine. Got it?

Jason the Absurdist said...

They hacked off the foreskin over bagels and lox?? What kind of sickos are these people??