Saturday, February 20, 2010

Happy Bud Light Commercial Day!

For Valentine's Day, we treated ourselves to a little getaway at a nice hotel. Which would be very romantic, were it not for the fact that our four-year-old Valentine was also traveling with us.What it lacked in romance, it made up for in family fun, and by that I mean we spent an ungodly amount of time in the cesspool of bacterial funk hotel swimming pool.

In all of the years I traveled for work and spent half of my life in hotels, I don't know that I ever even saw a hotel swimming pool. Since I've had a kid? That is the first amenity we look for when booking a room, as we love her and want her to have a good time it helps with a little something we like to call "Operation Wear Her Out."

After two days of having the pool to ourselves, we were surprised when a group of people walked into the pool area. And even more surprised to discover that it was a women's college volleyball team.

Each of the women was approximately nine feet tall, looked amazing in her (tiny) bikini, and spent the next  hour frolicking in the hot tub and pool with all of the other nine foot tall, perfect-body volleyball players.

And then...they took off their tops and started making out. (Okay, not really. But still a pretty great Valentine's gift for Canetto that I totally took credit for.)

Two days later, I realized that this was, in fact, the gift that just keeps giving, as I discovered that I had ringworm behind my knee. (Calm down...it's NOT a worm, it's just an athletes-foot-type fungus.)  (Pause to dry heave...)

I did do a little research to find out what causes this...and guess what does? Right. Public pools. Full of bikini-clad college girls, I'm guessing.

Next year, I'm totally buying him chocolates.

13 comments:

YinMetYang said...

"Oh no, I must have gotten it from a public pool"....just like getting the clap from a toilet seat, right? WRONG! We know darn well you had sex with a worm on your romantic getaway!! Use a knee condom next time.

Brutalism said...

YMY - But I did get it from a toilet seat! Er...public pool. Perhaps I've said too much...

ShutUpandRun said...

That's what you get for having a threesome with vollyball players in front of your four year old.

ShutUpandRun said...

OK sorry that last comment was really off color. Would delete it if I could. I know how you like to keep this blog G rated. Or at least PG13. Threesome talk probably not allowed. Sorry.

Cornelius Butterfield said...

Swallow some of that water, and you might be taking home a new pet, cute little tape worm in your colon, Timmy? Ralphie the round worm, or...
I can't think here, I'm watching Olympic Curling on TV and the excitement is absolutely overwhelming...I should practice this, for the W. Olympics 2014. Hell I have a broom...around here...somewhere..?

dilettante07 said...

In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche (or was it Rachel Ray?), "Yummo!"

kiki said...

i'm sure he'd happily give your ring worm for a volleyball team anytime!

Moooooog35 said...

Great.

Now I wish I had ringworm.

Brutalism said...

SU&R - I was actually thinking of re-naming Brutalism headquarters to Threesome headquarters...no worries.

Cornelius - I'll be avoiding hotel pools for the foreseeable future. I wonder if any hotels offer curling?

Tante - Yummo indeed. Jealous much?

Kiki - Yes, I believe he felt my sacrifice was worth it.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Right. Figures. Behind the knee. Nothing good ever happened behind anyone's knee. It's all warm and moist and hard to examine. Like Whitney Houston. I don't know where that just came from.

Brutalism said...

Moooooog - I somehow knew THAT was the part you'd be jealous of.

SMUK - Just like Whitney. Word.

Miss Spoken said...

I once got a flesh eating bacteria from a bus stop. Or maybe it was from slamming heroin. No, I'm pretty sure it was the bus stop.

Jason the Absurdist said...

Wow. I didn't even know Pandora *had* a volleyball team.

I wonder what a bucket of Purell does to a swimming pool filter...