Monday, September 20, 2010

What's My Byline?

Gentle Readers:

I need a title for my local column that will begin running later this month.

The column will focus on family and parenting (stop laughing), but will hopefully attract other readers both to the column and the blog who are not parents (at least, that they know of...wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Therefore, I do not want to name it anything too parent-y that may turn someone off.

Ideas that have been suggested (and summarily rejected) are:

Brutalism at home  (Too domestic violence-y.)
Suburban Krackerz (A write-in vote from my oldest friend.)
White rocks by the mailbox. (If you don't get this, I am very disappointed.)
Let me know if you have any ideas. If I use your idea, I will interview you for a future post and send you a fabulous* gift.

*"fabulous" obviously being open to interpretation


Moooooog35 said...

Some ideas:

"Countdown to 18"

"*Real Advice Sold Separately"

"Domestic Amiss"

"Who Ate My Sanity?"

ShutUpandRun said...

Obviously it should be Mexican S'mores and More.

Hahhahaha. I make myself laugh. Still thinking over here.

lacochran's evil twin said...

"Now with More Umlauts" is appropriately entertaining and non-informing. :)

Other equally nebulous phrases:

"Where's my 'Prize Included'?"

"You're No Billy from Family Circus"

"Just Rub Some Dirt in It"

Or perhaps some play on Oakton?

Okay, I'm no help at all.

YinMetYang said...

"Around the Firepit"

"We Call it Smoketon"

"Parenting Ain't for Sissies"

"What's in YOUR Water Bottle?"

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

Lifestyles of the Hitched and Ignoramus.

dilettante07 said...

Ode to dilettante07

Dilettante07 is my hero

I sure hope dilettante07 finds this funny

Brutal juice (I thought about brutal jews, but that would probably appeal to the wrong audience)

Brutally honest

Umlauts for everyone

Everyone is crazy

Poop is cool

Even cool kids poop

Justin Bieber

Ed said...

How about...Fucked by Calgan.

It's a throwback.

YinMetYang said...

Swinging in Oakton

For 'Rents

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go to College?

ShutUpandRun said...

Still thinking.

That's not my suggestion. I'm seriously still thinking.

YinMetYang said...

A Day In The Life of a Black and White Marble Composition Notebook

If The Minivan's a'Rockin, Don't Come a'Knockin

Soccer Mom? I Hardly Know 'er Mom!

(somebody stop me, please. This is getting embarrassing)

dori said...

You Call It Suburbia, I Call It Brutalism

dori said...

or You Call It Parenting, I Call It Brutalism

I think that dodges the "parent brutality" bullet

ZenMom said...

I'm guessing they're not going to let you use "swingers" in the title, eh? So, I'd go with "You're Results May Vary".

I also like the "How can I miss you if you won't go to college" idea.

ZenMom said...

Only, it would be "YOUR Results May Vary". Sorry, I'm under-caffeinated this morning. I really shouldn't even be allowed near a computer until I've had at least 3 cups.

Oh, hey, there might be a title in there somewhere, too. I'll let you know once I've had another cuppa.

Anonymous said...

I like Suburban Krackerz.

What about " Refrigerate After Opening".

Fragrant Liar said...

Brutally Honest

Brutally Yours

Johnny Virgil said...

Stop Touching Me
It's All Fun and Games
Go To Your Room
Time Out

dilettante07 said...

Continuing the JV theme:

Don't make me stop this car!

You'll poke your eye out.

Mommy and Daddy are going to take a nap

You're grounded

Walk it off

YinMetYang said...

Playgrounds and Wine Bars

Mommy's Little Helper

Brutalism said...

Moooooog - I don't understand Domestic Amish...I'm not a Mennonite.


SU&R - I should propose Mexican S'more. Without explanation.

Lacochran - Now with more umlauts would be fantastically random. And I would make a point to weave lederhosen into every post.
(That's actually a personal goal of mine no matter what the title ends up being.)

YMY - How about We Call it Smoketon around the Firepit? At least around YOUR firepit.

You're Lucky - Hits a little too close to home.

Dilettante - I will call it Justin Bieber, and my tweener readership will explode.

Ed - They told me no one would ever see that video...

YMY - Loving these.

SU&R - I'm expecting big things.

YMY - Soccer in the front...liquor in the rear.

Dori - I call it Stoketon. (That merges my Va. Beach/Oakton roots.) Genius, don't you think?

Brutalism said...

ZenMom - It's all fun and games until swingers actually start reading the column.

Er, MORE swingers.

Ms. Givens - That sounds like a punchline to a joke.

Fragrant Liar - I like the Brutally Honest. Hmmm...

JV - I could maybe work with Stop Touching Me...perhaps "Stop Touching Me, Creepy Old neighbor"?
Now I'm being Brutally Honest.

Tante - You'll poke your eye out -- funny. And, mommy and daddy are going to "take a nap" -- for the exact duration of a Sid the Science Kid episode, it turns out.

YMY - How about merging the two? Wine: Mommy's little helper.

HalC said...

"Because I Said So"

It is brief, alludes to parenting, and tells us why we should listen to your sage advice.
You know it is a good title because it bends but it doesn't break.

Jeff said...

"I didn't sign up for this."