Thursday, September 18, 2008

Although, I Might Want A GG Allin Themed Birthday Party

I just ran out to Party City...mainly because I need some balloons for Oktoberfest on Saturday but also because I needed to buy Dora themed crap for Avery's school birthday party in a couple of weeks.

To my knowledge, Avery has watched one episode of Dora in her life. But she insisted that she wanted DORA stuff for her party at school. Because I love her and because she is an only child and therefore pretty much gets whatever she wants (well, within reason and also because she is genuinely appreciative of things and very good at sharing them) I bought Dora plates, cups and napkins. Then I chintzed out and bought solid color goody bags and Dora stickers to put on them. (The Dora printed bags were way more expensive and not nearly as heavy-duty.)

I drew the line at hats and Dora goody bag accessories. There are about 30 kids in her classroom...that's a lot of stuff that will be tossed in the trash in about three seconds.

Oh...and her school has suggested that we bring in ice cream sandwiches instead of a cake. Because, apparently, ice cream sandwiches are nut-free guaranteed, unlike store-bought cakes. And don't even SUGGEST making anything at home. The lawyers have seen to it that anything homemade is a thing of the litigation-free past.

Does anyone else remember a time when you could actually MAKE cupcakes to take into school for your birthday, no one had peanut allergies and you didn't have to have a character-themed matchy-matchy birthday? Now I'm getting nostalgic...


Dilettard07 said...

Avast! 'Tis now a shameful world run by knavish barristers and cowardly landlubbers. I remember me days as a lad, when me mates and I would plunder the neighborhood on Halloween without a care (or parental guidance, or times "set" by some churlish neighborhood association run by fogeys), and the stock of our peers was not weakened by sallow waifs with nut allergies. We took our nuts like men, we did!

And arrrgh! ice cream sandwiches! What of the poor lads and lasses with lactose intolerance or who may be celiacs? Will ye make them walk the plank of agony as their tiny mates make a pig's breakfast of their treats?

Might I suggest the ye serve up (gluten free) hardtack, and tell the waifs that the daring explorers of yore did feast on such victuals. Make a point with the sharpness of a rapier, I say! Unfurl the Jolly Roger and send these mice packing!

dilettante07 said...

All I have to say is, being as young as I am, I had to google this MoFo. The first thing to pop up? A picture of him covered in blood and fecal matter. Which is perfect, because I like to start every Friday morning that way.

Kathleen said...

Just for kicks, I think you should run "blood and fecal matter" through the "talk like a pirate" word translator. (Okay, I really just wanted to write "fecal matter").