In all of the years I traveled for work and spent half of my life in hotels, I don't know that I ever even saw a hotel swimming pool. Since I've had a kid? That is the first amenity we look for when booking a room, as
After two days of having the pool to ourselves, we were surprised when a group of people walked into the pool area. And even more surprised to discover that it was a women's college volleyball team.
Each of the women was approximately nine feet tall, looked amazing in her (tiny) bikini, and spent the next hour frolicking in the hot tub and pool with all of the other nine foot tall, perfect-body volleyball players.
And then...they took off their tops and started making out. (Okay, not really. But still a pretty great Valentine's gift for Canetto that I totally took credit for.)
Two days later, I realized that this was, in fact, the gift that just keeps giving, as I discovered that I had ringworm behind my knee. (Calm down...it's NOT a worm, it's just an athletes-foot-type fungus.) (Pause to dry heave...)
I did do a little research to find out what causes this...and guess what does? Right. Public pools. Full of bikini-clad college girls, I'm guessing.
Next year, I'm totally buying him chocolates.
13 comments:
"Oh no, I must have gotten it from a public pool"....just like getting the clap from a toilet seat, right? WRONG! We know darn well you had sex with a worm on your romantic getaway!! Use a knee condom next time.
YMY - But I did get it from a toilet seat! Er...public pool. Perhaps I've said too much...
That's what you get for having a threesome with vollyball players in front of your four year old.
OK sorry that last comment was really off color. Would delete it if I could. I know how you like to keep this blog G rated. Or at least PG13. Threesome talk probably not allowed. Sorry.
Swallow some of that water, and you might be taking home a new pet, cute little tape worm in your colon, Timmy? Ralphie the round worm, or...
I can't think here, I'm watching Olympic Curling on TV and the excitement is absolutely overwhelming...I should practice this, for the W. Olympics 2014. Hell I have a broom...around here...somewhere..?
In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche (or was it Rachel Ray?), "Yummo!"
i'm sure he'd happily give your ring worm for a volleyball team anytime!
Great.
Now I wish I had ringworm.
SU&R - I was actually thinking of re-naming Brutalism headquarters to Threesome headquarters...no worries.
Cornelius - I'll be avoiding hotel pools for the foreseeable future. I wonder if any hotels offer curling?
Tante - Yummo indeed. Jealous much?
Kiki - Yes, I believe he felt my sacrifice was worth it.
Right. Figures. Behind the knee. Nothing good ever happened behind anyone's knee. It's all warm and moist and hard to examine. Like Whitney Houston. I don't know where that just came from.
Moooooog - I somehow knew THAT was the part you'd be jealous of.
SMUK - Just like Whitney. Word.
I once got a flesh eating bacteria from a bus stop. Or maybe it was from slamming heroin. No, I'm pretty sure it was the bus stop.
Wow. I didn't even know Pandora *had* a volleyball team.
I wonder what a bucket of Purell does to a swimming pool filter...
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