Saturday, December 04, 2010

My Life Now Has Porpoise (Groan)

A highlight of our recent vacation was the "shallow water interaction" with the dolphins my daughter and I did on our second day there. (Another was when Canetto tried to access Brutalism from our hotel's business office and got denied with a message saying the web site included explicit material.)


Our adventure began in an area of the resort called Dolphin Cay. After getting suited up in wet suits, we got briefed on meeting the dolphins so that we'd know how close we could get to them, where we should and should not touch them and what we could expect from the whole experience.

It reminded me a lot of the time I scored a 'meet and greet' with Harry Connick, Jr.
Harry Connick Jr. and Paul Newman
Harry...awed by the silver-tongued devil that is Brutalism.
It was unbelievably cool to be that close to Harry the dolphin the hairy dolphin. (That makes no sense.)
The best part was probably when our hip, young Bahamian trainers prepared our lily-white group to high-five the dolphin. One trainer said, "You need to say, 'Wha-CHA!' and the dolphin will hold his flipper up to give you five.”
Hip, young trainers with the whities. And me with scoliosis. WTF?

We all practiced saying “Wha-CHA!” as a group a few times (and no, I have never felt cooler...thanks for asking), then one woman from the group walked up for her turn and said meekly, "What's up?"

The trainer said, "Come on...you can do better than that...it's more of a Wha-CHA!"

So the woman tried again, and if possible, it came out even more stilted. A barely audible, "What’s up?"

Even the dolphin looked embarrassed for her.

The next person was even more hopeless...he walked up and asked, "What is up with you, Mr. Dolphin?"

I burst out laughing and said loudly what (I thought) everyone else was thinking, which was: "Wow. These are the whitest ‘Wha-CHAs’ I have ever heard."

I will take the complete and utter silence and palpable disdain from both the white group and the black trainers as me single-handedly promoting racial unity in the Dolphin Cay.

Werd,
Brutalism

16 comments:

StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously? said...

Well... congrats on the scoliosis?

Very much like the newest Modern Family episode... "If you ain't white, you ain't right"...

Brutalism said...

StephanieC - Wasn't that hilarious? And Phil couldn't figure out why the taxi driver had attitude. Love that show.

The scoliosis is much better. Thanks!

Jason the Absurdist said...

So, did you say "Wha CHA?" and the dolphin laugh it's soggy ass off at you anyway? How wast he rest of teh

Scoliosis: it's much like being turned into a newt:

"I got bettah"

Brutalism said...

JTA - Yes. Recovery time for scoliois and being turned into a newt is fortunately, not that extensive.

Lisa Randazzo said...

I just attempted what I thought could be a good Wha CHA, not really knowing exactly how it's supposed to sound. My son whipped his head around and said, "What? Is it Fred? Are you imitating Fred?"

Now, if you know of whom my son is referring, then I'm very sorry that you have been exposed to this extremely obnoxious and annoying character.

But I'm still wondering if my "Wha Cha" scores with the dolphins. At least I'm prepared for when we get to Atlantis. (either that or I'll end up scaring everyone out of the pool)

Sandra said...

Am laughing out loud right now! (Is it still cool to write LOL?...I never know...) Anyway, this was funny!
I'm not surprised that hanging out with a daulphin would be more fun than Harry Connick Jr....just thought I'd add that in here..
Great title to your post, I did not groan, was rather impressed by the play on words.

Brutalism said...

Lisa - No. I don't know who this Fred character is. I'm intrigued.

When are you going? Your Wha-CHA HAS to be better than the ones in our group...you shouldn't worry...

Brutalism said...

Sandra - No offense to Harry...he seems like a good guy. It's just hard to figure out what to say to someone famous that does not come out like gushing fan-girl.

Interestingly, I had no problem gushing like a fan-girl to the dolphin. I'm pretty sure I used a baby voice, even. I have issues.

Dilettard07 said...

Oh how the mighty have fallen. The Dauphin relegated to giving the Hunchback of Notre Dame high fives in a pool in exchange for fish.

Brutalism said...

Dilettard - Kind of a literary take on "Behind the Music" --

SAHL AHMED SHAIKH said...

great 1..was raely funny !!

would u like a link exchnge with me blog

if yes email me @ sahlcoolio@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Hi Kathleen!

It's Lisa ~ yep...that Lisa! The really funny one from college!!!!
Email me! You are still hilarious and I am too! ha!

Love ya!

Brutalism said...

LISA?!?!?! We need to "talk" (air quotes, because I know you love them).

I miss you. How the heck are you and all of your boys (the lil ones and the big one)?

Write to me! I have the same yahoo address I've had forever...

Brutalism said...

Sahl - Thanks!

Anonymous said...

One of your best in awhile. Very much enjoyed it. Not so fond of the blatant racism however. I take great offense to it as I am fluent in ebonics and have a large penis.

dori said...

My word verification is 'wingle.' That's really all I have to say.

OK, OK, I also want to say that if I'd been in your Wha CHA group, I would have LMAO at your comment. Pretty sure the kids are still using that one. By kids I mean 30 yr olds.