Wednesday, January 23, 2008

How Not To Look Old

Thanks to my upcoming birthday (THREE SHOPPING DAYS LEFT!), I just ordered a book called "How Not To Look Old." This supposedly provides a bunch of fashion, makeup and hair tips that will fool people into thinking I'm barley legal. (Tip #1: get rhinestone-encrusted cell phone, pepper every conversation with the word "like," and hang out at the mall with my friends.)

I'm sure that when I receive this and have a chance to read it, there will be much to discuss about it on this blog. When I'm not shopping at "Forever 21", that is.


dilettante07 said...

These google ads are great. Right on top of the post on not looking old? Diaper ads. Perfect.

And another way to not look old? Hang out with Nicole!

Jeff said...

Ummmmm. Aren't we all forgetting the absolute best, foolproof and easiest way to not look old...? Fucking date Jeff Cockey...Remember those "Time Life - Remember the 80's" cd's? Well the girls he dates DO NOT. In fact they have no idea what in the hell Time Life commercials are. Or commercials for that matter. They were born in the TIVO age.

Jesus Christ people, he only dates chicks ages 20-26. If you are seen dating him it is generally known that you are jailbait. And if you are looking for a guarantee, sleep with the strapping, well endowed, good looking guy. He definitely does not do THAT with anyone who was alive during the Reagan era. Cold War what? Like is that like a snowball like fight?

I am sorry for the cursing in this post but God Dammit folks, he worked very freakin' hard for his current positioning among the worlds female "tweeners."

That is all.

Disclaimer: This post should only be followed by single women, girls without braces, and the occasional unhappily married woman whose husbands are smaller than Jeff, do not own guns, and have sworn off violence.