An old friend from back in the ORGANIZATION THAT DOES NOT HATE FREEDOM days sent me an e-mail yesterday. She had seen one of those car window decals of the cartoon character Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) urinating on the words "gun control" and not only e-mailed me about it, but tried to get a picture of it with her cell phone while driving. When we used to work together, we had a standing (heh heh) joke about these decals (although, we'd substitute one of the uber-manly female NRA leaders for Calvin, claiming this "woman" could pee standing up. She probably did, and she definitely would have peed on the words "gun control.").
Once, I saw one of these on a car where Calvin was urinating on the words "ex wife." And all I could think was a) she must be thrilled to be an ex and b) what would you do if that guy showed up at your house for a date? I mean, just like those things that go around license plates that say things like "gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free" -- you glean a lot of information from a seemingly small car decoration. (In the spirit of total disclosure, I did once go on a date with a guy who owned a pickup truck that had personalized plates spelling out DIXEE. I don't know which is worse -- the complete embrace of his redneckedness, or the fact that he had to spell it that way [meaning, of course, that another Virginian already owned DIXIE] and still chose to pay extra to get it.)
Anyway...what are some things you'd like to see Calvin urinating on?
UPDATE: Things I'd like see Calvin urinating on:
1. Whoever writes the "He went to Jared" commercials
2. Mixed metaphors (heard a woman say yesterday that she wears her heart on her shoulder)
UPDATE 2: From Candace, aforementioned former co-worker:
1. Emoticons, and/or all the variations of "LOL" (i.e., ROFL, LMAO, ROFLMFAJHERTCLZ!!!) (I made that last one up.)
2. The people who brought us the Snuggie (TM)
3. Blagojevich's creepy hair (How about Blagojevich in general? - ed.)
4. That Kid Rock song that's part Sweet Home Alabama, part Werewolves of London, and all crap (Don't hate me, but I like this song. - ed.)
5. Kid Rock in general. (Don't hate me again, but I kinda like him. Even though I do realize he is likely to own a pickup truck with DIXEE on the license plate. - ed.)
6. Inappropriate Facebook status updates, like the friend of a friend who posted the results of her pap smear (true story). (EEEEwwwwwww. - ed.)
7. The small dog trend in which people "walk" their dogs in strollers and dress them up, etc. (You're projecting here, aren't you Candace? Uncle Lou LOVES him some dressing up and tooling around in a stroller, we all know that. - ed.)
8. The phrase "a whole nother" (This was the biggest pet peeve of a guy named John that I used to date. He oft said, "why are people inserting the word "whole" into the word "another" -- it makes no sense." - ed.)