They play three on three (I'm referring to the girls soccer teams -- not the grandparents, aunt and uncle and Amanda and Leon -- although this really does fall into the "don't ask, don't tell" arena) so all of the girls have the opportunity to play the entire game.
My daughter did pretty well. If they kept score (WHICH THEY DON'T, BECAUSE IF THEY DID IT WOULD CAUSE IRREPARABLE HARM TO THEIR DELICATE PSYCHES), Avery would have scored all three goals on her team. And we would have been proud.
And not to put too fine a point on it, but the game was actually more like three on two, as one of the girls on my daughter's team not only did not seem to understand or be interested in soccer, but I'm not even sure she realized she was standing on a soccer field. She is one of those kids that I totally adore -- in her own world, daydreaming, seeming completely shocked whenever the ball came her way. And the one time she did kick the ball...it was into her own team's goal, something that did not not seem to register with her.
Of course, because we are such a supportive group, we spent most of the game heckling the assistant coach (Canetto) from the sidelines and then discussing what award the daydreamer may be presented with at the end-of-season soccer banquet following the game. We suggested the following:
MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED
at something else
MOST VALUABLE PLAYER
for the other team
MOST ATHLETIC
looking father
BEST ALL AROUND
obstacle to winning
MOST DISPENSABLE
Of course, the coaches had to be all "good sports" and "encouraging" so they ignored our suggestions and presented her with a trophy just like the other girls on the team received.
Communists.
[P.S. Check out my weekly Patch column (I love how dirty that sounds) here.]
[P.S. Check out my weekly Patch column (I love how dirty that sounds) here.]
