Thursday, June 29, 2023

Portmanteau-ing the Line

Our local trivia night awards prizes both to the team that answers the most trivia questions correctly and also to the team with the best team name of the night, as determined by the waitstaff.

Of course, the regulars take full advantage of the quizmaster saying the team names aloud each round and in the past have used team names such as "I wish this microphone was a penis" and other gems to get the quizmaster to laugh. There are often references to current events, many puns, and a lot of lewd humor. It's great. And quite honestly, it feels almost as satisfying to win the team name contest as it does to win trivia. (Not-so-humblebrag-notice: I've been on teams that have done both, so I know this firsthand.)

Last night was the first time I went to trivia with my husband and his friend, Mike. And while our trivia showing was respectable-ish (12th out of 27 teams), we WON best team name with this submission: 

"Team Mansplaining (that explaining)"

There is always someone at trivia who annoys me, too. Which is kind of surprising because I'm very tolerant and patient and rarely get indignant about anything. In the past, it has been drunk people who shout out answers, or someone who insists their answer is correct when it obviously is not, or the quizmaster pronouncing "leeward" as "LOU - erd." (No. Never. Stop It.) 

This week, we were treated to a guy screaming "HEY-OH!" every time he got an answer right when the quizmaster was reviewing the answers. He would occasionally mix in a "NAILED IT!" I wanted to throttle him. 

He looked like a normal person but obviously was not. So, I couldn't help but create a narrative that he was on a first date, and the person who accepted the date ran him through the usual screening questions, and was delighted when he invited them to a trivia night. Because: fun and interactive for a first date!

Then, when the answer reveal began, the date would realize that this dude's most current pop culture reference is from the Tonight Show Ed McMahon era - which ENDED in the early 90s. Something they probably never thought to ask in the pre-date get-to-know-you texts or calls.


Tuesday, June 27, 2023

My Missionary Position

Our daughter has many Mormon friends.

She made one friend this year who is Mormon, and by extension, met and became friends with many more. She goes to Mormon social events, went to the Mormon prom, and is currently on a Mormon camping trip. She comes by this honestly, as part of my youth was characterized by The Mormon Years.

(Disclaimer: I now feel about Mormonism the way I feel about all organized religion.)

And while I did not anticipate this scenario, I will say that her socializing with teenagers who by definition do not drink or do drugs allows me to be slightly less neurotic when she is hanging out with them. (Note: the lack of drinking and drugs does not guarantee the kids are good or safe drivers. One of her Mormon friends managed to get into a car accident on a recent sunny afternoon because he's a dumbass teenage boy and was driving as such. However, he is a sober dumbass teenage boy, so in my mind, it could have been much worse.)

Our daughter attended another camp prior to Mormon camp - one where girls from all over the state convened for a week to learn about the legislative process. When she returned home from the week, she was excitedly telling us all about it and mentioned she met a Mormon there. Curious as to how she identified the girl as Mormon, she said the girl had visited all the floors in the dorm asking if there were other Mormons in attendance.

Of course, when I shared this story with my friend, we came up with an alternate explanation. One where my daughter is able to identify Mormons on sight as she spends so much time with them. Like "gaydar," but with less caffeine. 

As we attempted to determine the correct term for this phenomenon, we came up with "Mordar" but dismissed it right away as sounding too middle earth-y. We remained stumped for a few minutes until she brightly suggested what is obviously the perfect epithet: "Latter-Daydar!"