Saturday, September 29, 2007

Boys Are Dumb.

And I love them anyway.

I'm Kinda Getting Into This Whole Running Thing

Another great run today -- the nice weather helps.
We did six miles without stopping -- at about a 10 minute pace.
Not bad, considering our training has been pretty inconsistent
up to this point -- and we still have 5 1/2 months til the half marathon.

I felt fantastic throughout the whole run. I think carbo-loading with
three beers last night was the key.

I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I'm starting to really enjoy

Friday, September 28, 2007

Well, It's True

Great ad slogan:


He Keeps Me Humble

Me: You have to come to Oktoberfest some year. It was hilarious. See how great I looked? (Sweet Jesus, I’m turning into you)

Petro: You have beautiful hardwood.

Me: I hate you.

Petro: Just kidding you look hot

Friday, September 21, 2007

Back to NoLa

I'm headed back to New Orleans -- my fourth or fifth trip in the past few months.
A quickie -- Thursday to Saturday next week.
Back just in time for a wedding Saturday night and a birthday party on Sunday.
September is flying by.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A Very Good Week

Tomorrow night: Dilettante Club
Thursday night: Kathy Griffin at the Kennedy Center
Friday: Day off work to get ready for Oktoberfest
Saturday: Run with Amanda -- OKTOBERFEST!
Sunday: Brunch with friends to celebrate Avery's birthday

Last night: Call from two JMU sorority sisters to see if I wanted to spend New Year's with them and another friend in Las Vegas. (It's all about the tickle fights.)

For being an old broad with a kid...I do some pretty fun stuff.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Not-So-Instant Karma's Gonna Get You

In my junior year of college, I spent a semester abroad in London. While we were over there, I met and fell in love with Tim (another JMU student who was part of our group). The catch? When we met, he was already dating a woman named Carolyn that he had been dating for a couple of years -- she was a few years older than us and had already graduated from college.

Tim and I dated while we were in London, but he was hesitant to commit to me and to break up with this woman until he could do it in person, when we were back in the states. was a fun semester, but also tough because I wasn't sure he would break up with her when we got back home and I was SERIOUSLY.IN.LOVE.

He did break up with her a couple of weeks after we got back to the states, and Tim and I went on to date for six years (you read that right...SIX YEARS). We parted ways amicably and are both now happily married to others (in my case, another guy named Tim who is also 6'4", Catholic, and has dark brown hair and eyes (guess I have a "type").

Earlier this year, I found out that a mutual friend we socialize with pretty frequently is best friends with "Carolyn" -- I found this out when I was complaining about how hard it is to google ex-boyfriends when they have names like "Tim Baker" and "Rob Grant" (curse you ex-boyfriends with common names). This mutal friend said, "Tim Baker? The one who went to JMU?" and we discovered the connection.

Today, I went to this person's baby shower, and Carolyn had flown in from Texas to help celebrate. Comfortable.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Maybe My Foot Is My Oral Fixation

There's a notoriously creepy guy where I work. He has succeeded in making every single woman who works here uncomfortable with his too-long-and-inappropriate stares, with his hovering and with his general lecherousness. Complain, you say? Well, then his stepfather-who-holds-a-very-important-position-here might get a little upset.

Anyway, he's harmless...everyone just learns to avoid him after their first week of work.

This afternoon, I was sitting outside with my friend, Terri, to discuss some work issues. I had just brushed my teeth and was holding my toothbrush and toothpaste.

This character just happened to be coming back from lunch and passed us on his way inside the building, saying, "Hey -- this area is for smokers -- not for toothbrushes" and I replied, "guess I just have a different type of oral fixation."

As the words were coming out of my mouth, I regretted them. If there was ever a person on the face of the earth that you do not want to say "oral fixation" to -- it's this guy.

And besides, the number one thing I always tell people about communication? KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Good Thing I Don't Breast Feed

From my tired 23-month old:
"I'm yawning, mommy. I need coffee."

Praise the Lord

Tim was asking what time he should be over at his parents house today to help with their move, and said to his (very Catholic) mom, "are you going to church tomorrow?" so that he could figure out what time to be at their house. His mother snapped back (apparently feeling guilty that she's missing church as she goes to mass about five times a week), "No. Are YOU?"

Tim said, "yes. I always do" (even though he hasn't been -- not even on Christmas and Easter -- in several years). And I said, "You go to church?" with mock surprise and he said, "Of course...every Sunday" and I said, "Wow. I was hoping you were just having an affair."

Friday, September 07, 2007

Not To Be Confused With A Sloppy Joe

According to Urban Dictionary, a Sloppy Carl is:

when you diarrehea in a tube sock and slap someone in the face with it.

Aside from the (very) obvious hilarity of this, let's further examine why this definition is so funny:

1) diarrehea is misspelled AND used as a verb. Nice touch.
2) it specifies tube sock as the receptacle in which to "diarrehea" -- NOT a dress sock, and god forbid...not argyle. And don't even get me started on the inadequacy of the anklet.
3) slap someone in the FACE with it -- very specific. And agreed...much funnier than just "slapping" someone with it in any general spot on the anatomy.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Vanity, Thy Name Is Petro

After e-mailing me a photo of his 2-year old twin boys swinging on a playground, with him in the background pushing their swings, I wrote, "your boys are absolutely adorable."

And he wrote back, "what about their dad?"

Some things never change.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

Sunday night we went to the Liberty Tavern in Clarendon with our friends Rich and Michelle. Rich is our age and has been dating Michelle (who is 10 or 12 years younger) for a couple of years now.

She was talking about when she first moved to the DC area from Philly and how she had found some interesting room rental options on Craigslist. She mentioned one that listed a room in a house that was free of charge to young women. Being young and innocent, she called the guy who had posted this offer and discovered it was an older guy who would provide a free room in exchange for sex.

Tim asked, "Wow. What happened?"

And she replied (with perfect comic timing, and while reaching over and patting Rich's hand), "I'm still with him"

He better marry this woman.