Saturday, August 17, 2013

Pre-packaged Jokes

This post first ran as a column in the (probably-soon-to-be-erstwhile) Oakton Patch on June 8, 2011. Apparently, it is something that will be relevant every couple of years:
Carlos Danger. In a moment of self-reflection.
Or perhaps just taking a selfie.
Subtitle: Thanks to one swollen ego, humorists get off easy
Unless you have been in a Lunesta coma for the past 48 hours, you know by now that New York Representative Anthony Weiner admitted to tweeting a picture of his nether regions to some women … both before and after his marriage.
Really, the only reason I even care enough to comment on this is that I feel strongly about one aspect of the situation. It’s not that I am worried about whether he is capable of doing his job even though he has some interesting hobbies. It is not that my new reality includes reading phrases such as “bulging underpants” with increasing frequency in headlines. No, the part that bothers me is that the scandal has made it so easy for comedians and humorists to get a ton of great material without putting forth much effort.
Sure, he should have been much more of a standup guy and been honest about the whole thing from the beginning, when suspicions were first aroused. That may have prevented him from plodding head-long into this mess. I know it would have been hard, but doesn’t he have a trusted staff that he could have utilized to run some ideas up the flagpole before going off half-cocked and lying to the American public about his escapades?
And come on, do you really think the media would have gone as nuts if he had just been a straight shooter when this information first emerged? Currently, he claims he is not resigning, and his constituents do not seem as though they want to give him the shaft. Even so, I am confident there will still be some stiff consequences. He should definitely bone up on appropriate apologies for a man in his position.
Now that the ball is in his court, he should follow any good tips he receives about clearing up his reputation. I’m sure that if he makes a firm commitment to being an upright citizen and ethical leader from this point forward, we can all move on, forget about this, and let him go back to being the hot dog member of Congress he is at work – and the family jewel that his wife used to think he was at home, during the private parts of their life together.
All that aside, I’m sorry to get so prickly. I’m just so sick of all this junk and really wish it would all peter out so Congress and the media could get back to work.
And that all the so-called humorists out there could get back to actually earning their jokes.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Flee to the Cleve and Get to the Pitt

Our big family vacation this summer was to Cleveland and Pittsburgh.

No, we weren't being punished.

My mother was born in Cleveland. She was there celebrating her birthday with her husband to show him the hospital where she was born and the house where she lived until she was two and moved to New York.

So we decided to surprise her there. We went to her hotel room on the morning of her birthday and knocked on her door, which is when her husband had to request that she put on underpants. (Something she shared with us repeatedly, while giggling every time.)

>thrusts sharpened pencil in ear in attempt to erase memory area of brain<

After my mom put on her underpants (and the rest of her clothes), we spent the day doing all the great stuff there is to do in Cleveland....

...and when we were done with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, we headed to Pittsburgh for the rest of the weekend. (See what I did there? Oooh...gotcha, Cleveland!)
Mom and her underpants celebrating her birthday. 
Also in Cleveland. I think art is a good choice for my kid, as she is not much of en speller.
Then again, neither is the charming person who wants "to do" Hally Berry.
Pittsburgh was great. We went to the Warhol Museum then ended up walking around town until we happened upon an interesting-looking restaurant. While we dined outside, we chatted up a woman (and her dog) who is a blogger (the woman, that is)...and who has realized my dream of appearing on GOMI several times. (She used to be a master in the regurgitation arts and tends to bit a bit judge-y about what others eat and how they look.) Whatever. She was charming in person.
Our picture outside the restaurant. With Gwendolyn.
And recently, we even made a guest appearance in her blog, because I'm all about letting strangers take photos of my family and paste them all over the Innernets.

We also rode the Incline, said "you'ins" a lot, and after being told we needed to eat there, tried a sandwich at Primanti Brothers which may be the most overrated (and under delicious) sandwich I've ever tasted.

Perhaps a nice beach vacation next year?

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Things That Are Making Me Laugh

Even at 50% off, I'm not sure this is a deal I'd want...

Yes. A semi was rear-ended near Climax...


And most exciting? My newest Twitter follower. And boyfriend. 

I heart the Internet,

UPDATE: DC Blogs linked to this post today in the blog round up. I love that DC Blogs publicly acknowledges great writing. And the writing on this blog, too.