Law & Order: #2

Please read this article then continue on to the discussion below.

When I first heard about this on the radio, I processed it as "Poo Prince," which immediately made me think of my favorite singer (and Poo Prince, indeed), GG Allin. Bless his heart.

Alas, the service is in fact Poo PRINTS, which effectively tests the DNA of any lawn leavins' so you can trace them back to the poopetrator. 

(That tagline is available for sale, BTW.)

And all I can say is how appropriate the one-attorney-per-every-centimeter demographic that comprises the DMV area has devised yet another way to bring the law into what was once simply handled by flinging the offending matter back into the yard of the originator.

What bothers me most is the infringement on our rights. First, the doggie DNA...then what? Upper deckers become a felonious act? There are no more mad poopers to break up the tedium of  daily life in the cube farm because they're scared of repercussions? Flaming bags of poop, while once an emphatic expression of unhappiness, become mere memories as younger generations fear the possible consequences of keeping this art form alive?

I think what I'm trying to say is that first they came for the dog poop and I did not speak out, because I was not a dog owner...then they came for the Mad Poopers, and I did not speak out because I was not a fecal prankster...

Let's not take this squatting down!

Information for this post came from Urban Dictionary, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum web site and the McLean Patch. Just like all of my papers in grad school. 

Tough Love

Last night, in preparation for helping my daughter review for a test, I requested that she bring the following upstairs to the office: her social studies notebook...and something to throw at her.

Lest you think this is cruel and unusual, let me just say that it absolutely is.

It is also very effective.

I first learned how effective when we were on vacation in Disney World a couple of years ago. The timing of this trip caused our daughter to miss some important tests, so we had to interrupt the 24-hour entertainment cycle with a few minutes of study time here and there. With so much distraction, I discovered that the best way to get her to focus was to throw candy corn at her head while she studied.

Not only did this work, but when I posted it to Facebook, I got a lot of responses. (Mostly from women. With children. And mostly in support of my actions.)

It takes a village, people.

She did great on her tests when we returned, so I've implemented the tactic at home, too. Once when quizzing her with math flash cards, I rated her efforts with letter grades. At one point, I shrieked, "F!" while tossing a flash card at her head when I did not feel she was putting her all into the study session.

By the way, her response to my request last night? She came upstairs, straight faced, and placed her notebook and two clementines on my desk.

Which was such a perfect response to my nonsense.

Particularly because they don't leave bruises.