Monday, July 26, 2010

Packing For Camp

A loyal Brutalism reader kindly sent along the following Facebook status update that someone  posted to her wall (in all seriousness) this weekend:
Does anyone have children going to Camp Ramsbottom the next two weeks? Matthew will be there - just wondering if he will know anyone
Which, of course, made me question the following:

a) Was Camp Buttpirate already full when you tried to enroll lil Matthew? Did your vacation schedule conflict with the dates for Camp Assjockey? Was Camp Rumpranger too expensive?

b) Do you really think knowing someone is going to be the biggest cause for concern for young Matthew?

c) Does "choosing the top bunk" mean the same thing at Camp Ramsbottom as it does at other summer camps?

When Matthew comes home and asks for Mexican S'mores "just like they made at camp," you have only yourself to blame.

UPDATE: Thanks, Moooooog, for linking to me in your weekly wrap-up. Makes sense, as you are an authority on Ramsbottom.


Gorilla Bananas said...

I think you're confusing these wholesome venues with Camp Take-it-up-the-ass, which is where Pee-wee Herman lost his virginity.

dori said...

HAHAHAAAAA sweet baby jesus, that is funny funny stuff. I can only imagine what the camp motto is (I'm lobbing a softball to your band of hilarious commentors)

Anonymous said...

That is a terrible name for a camp.
But who seriously sends their kids to camp anymore?

Sarah said...

I went to horse camp. It was just horse camp. I hear Ramsbottom is the top notch sodomy camp.

Moooooog35 said...


Brings back so many memories of my time spent at "Camp ForcefulAnalPenetration."

Dilettard07 said...

Obviously, Matthew fell for the old grade school joke and sadly took it seriously:

Kid 1: "Hey, if you went camping and woke up to find Vaseline around your butthole, would you tell anyone?"

Kid 2: "Ewwwww! No way!"

Kid 1: "Want to go camping?"

Don't worry about dessert on the outings, little Matthew. Camp Ramsbottom always packs plenty of fudge.

Doug W said...

I hear there's a Summer Space Camp for Gay kids.......Camp Astroglide

Mike said...

And we wonder why our children are getting gayer and gayer?

Anonymous said...

Yes the "top bunk" has a different meaning. But some advice for Matthew. If your parents have seen fit for you to go to this camp and you have no other choice "butt" to go...It would probably be best for you to select the top bunk. Or get new parents.

TruthSeeker said...

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Please take a look at mine.

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The Absurdist said...

I think ewe people have it all wrong. Clearly this is a camp for sheepish city kids who want to experience the joy of being around farm animals (and their rear ends) while away from their parents (who don't have the good sense given to those aforementioned farm animals (or their rear ends)).

Matthew, I hope you don't have a baaaad time at camp and when you're ready to come out of the closet down the road I'm sure Lambda Legal will be there to help. And that's no bull.

Wow, this blog really is a race to the bottom.

No wonder I fit right in.

PS: Verification word "tosco". Somehow fitting. Salad anyone?

Jenny Jerkface said...

You had me at Camp Buttpirate. Seriously.