Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Chew On This

I've mentioned before that I'm a good friend.

And it becomes glaringly apparent at certain times.

Like yesterday, when my friend, Amanda, sent this photo from the plane on her way to Chile. It is a picture of the snow-capped Andes:

I replied, "Lovely. Or at least it will be until you crash and have to eat the other passengers to survive."

She volleyed back, "Hey, it's better than airline food."

Speaking of food (awesome segue -- pats own back) please check out this week's humor column at the Oakton Patch, where I discuss why my daughter transitioning to kindergarten has been so difficult for us. (Wow, that does sound humorous.)

Almost as funny as cannibalism.



Ed said...

If she's lucky, the volcano will pre-cook the meat for her.

Brutalism said...

Ed - And it may be one of few times you're actually happy to have a larger passenger seated next to you.

I wonder if she would get a thought bubble over her head and see the larger passenger as a cooked turkey with a human face like they do in cartoons?

Moooooog35 said...

Hopefully there aren't any Chinese people on that flight that she'll have to eat.

I hear that once you eat Chinese, you're hungry again in an hour.

Brutalism said...

Mooooog - A short play:

Amanda (to flight attendant): "I don't like my seat mate"

Flight attendant: "then just eat the noodles"

Sarah said...

I HATE making school lunches! It's my very very worst chore in the world. The day my kids said, "Can I make my own lunch from now on?" was the greatest day of my life. I'd rather give birth every day than pack lunches every day. Have a fun several years.

Brutalism said...

Sarah - Perhaps this is why you liken taking a pizza out of its plastic wrapper to a c-section? Maybe the pain parallel has carried over from making school lunches?

Maybe I've watched too much Dr. Phil...

Matt Kittoe said...

I'd take cannibalism over having to eat a school lunch ever again.

Brown bagged sammiches FTW!

dilettante07 said...

I have a whole new appreciation for seatmates now, thanks folks. I didn't even have a seatmate on this flight, so I lucked out that we didn't go down.

I fly back today. Hopefully my seatmate (if I'm so blessed) won't mind me doing a little pre-seasoning. Marinade will be tough with the liquid restrictions, but I'm thinking some salt and pepper, and maybe some fenugreek will do the trick.

Dilettard07 said...

Don't use fenugreek. I read an article that the e. coli outbreak in Europe may be the result of Egyptian fenugreek seeds. Don't want to spoil your meal with that.

And ask the flight attendant for orange juice to marinate the meat. Breaks down the connective tissue in even the most sinewy specimens.

(two important side notes: Firefox suggests changing "fenugreek" to "greenback" and my verification word is "flartl." I suspect this might be real word, e.g., "Someone [ahem] at the Oktoberfest party passed gas so loudly that it flartled the hostess. Fortunately she launched a successful investigation/shame campaign.")

Brutalism said...

Matt - this whole "For the Win" thing is confusing to me, because I was only aware of the original FTW meaning until very recently...when my cousin posted a status update of "date night...FTW" -- and knowing that she did not abhor her husband, I figured there must be an alternate meaning.

Tante - Fenugreek always does the trick. Ask for the middle seat -- doubling your chances of dinner if you do go down.

Tard - And I'm not easily flartled. So far, the shame campaign seems to be working. And by that, I mean that it is funny every single time we mention that the perpetrator passed gas at Oktoberfest. It was almost as funny as when your brother passed on at Oktoberfest.

Unknown said...

My Kiddo is headed to Kindergarten this fall and what really chaps my ass is that the lunch box and backpack that he's been toting around for the past year (Diego BP and Jurassic Park LunchBox) are not allowed at school. "No cartoon characters, no movies."

When I broke the news to him, he cried and said "I knew I picked the wrong school!"

Brutalism said...

The Diatribest - What kind of pinko commie school are you sending that kid to? You should cut the sandwiches you pack into the shapes of cartoon characters just to see how far they take their ban on that stuff...