Thursday, June 11, 2009

Holy Crap

On a conference call with (undisclosed government client) today, we were discussing epidemics when one participant noted that the right people have to be asking questions of those affected in order to determine if there is a trend. She then went on to say, "Team Diarrhea of Minnesota, for instance, would be able to identify a trend based on their expertise in questioning."

Which, of course, raised several questions in my mind:

1) Do the members of Team Diarrhea find that no one wants to shake their hands at networking events?
2) Is becoming a member of Team Diarrhea a promotion from another position? If so, do I want to know what it is? Worse yet...has anyone ever been demoted from Team Diarrhea?
3) How many times do you say the words Team Diarrhea before you can do it without giggling like a school girl?
4) Is it unprofessional to put the phone on mute so that I can giggle like a school girl?

People think it's pretty funny,


Anonymous said...

Somehow I have a feeling Greff would volunteer to be on Team Diarreha - seems right up his alley, so to speak.

Anonymous said...

Please ignore the obvious spelling error, too quick with the (pull my) trigger finger. This is a fabulous story. My question - why does an investigative research team have such a name in the first place? Is there any connection between the team's function and/or abilities and unfortunate name?

Brutalism said...

Yes...they are the experts in the field. That is their area of expertise. Can you imagine? It's like going to medical school and then telling your parents you are going to specialize in proctology. (Along those lines: one time, a family member of mine had to go to a proctologist. At the end of the visit, the doctor gave her a pen with his name and office information on it. Said family member was like, 'Right...I'm going to use the proctology pen and let the whole world know that I had to go to one.'

Dilettard07 said...

Said "Family Member" has no imagination. Bona fide proctology pens are jokester gold. Should have asked for a whole box of those little gems.

True, you don't use them yourself (you could, I suppose), but you put them in strategic places. Imagine the fun you could have replacing the pen in the Whole Foods bulk section with one of those. Leaving one in the reception area of some company. Putting one in the little folio that you use at a restaurant when you pay your bill by credit card. Maybe smear a tiny little bit from your chocolate dessert on it.

dilettante07 said...

Do you think Team Diarrhea plays in a softball league after work? I'd love to see the t-shirts.

Anna Lefler said...

Where's the link to buy a Team Diarrhea t-shirt?

I'm all over that.

:-D Anna

JenBC said...

Sorry - can't leave tante's softball hanging up there. Not sure what the TD tees would look like (pepto pink, maybe?), but you can bet their team scores a lot of runs.

Phew. I feel better now.

Brutalism said...

Ha ha ha ha ha....eeewwww

dilettante07 said...

And lo the Brutalism merch line was born...and it was good...and tacky...and inappropriate...and sold like hotcakes.

The Absurdist said...

I think this bears further investigation. What is the career path for a member of Team Diarrhea?

Boss: "Tom, you've been promoted to Team Loose Stool".

Tom: "Damn, I was hoping to skip that one and go straight to Team Corn Chunks"

Inquiring minds want to know!


PS: When a member says "I'm doing this just for shits and giggles" does that mean they're just in it for the paycheck?

Unknown said...

Dang - now I have "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam - diarrhea! diarrhea!" stuck in my head.