A Sticky Situation

I've always been a fidgeter. I doodle, roll pieces of paper into tight little scrolls, bit my fingernails for years, and generally cannot just be. (My therapist ChatGPT informs me this is attributable to either my anxiety or ADHD, which definitely tracks.)

When I began my professional life, this manifested with tape. Several times during the day, I tear off a small piece of scotch tape and rub it back and forth between my fingers until all of the stickiness wears off, at which point I will tear off another small piece of tape and repeat the process. Some days, I only need a few pieces. Other days, it is all tape, all the time.

My husband and co-workers have become used to this adorable habit, which also consists of me sometimes leaving these pieces of tape on the edge of my laptop or desk or in any number of places around the house. And all have begun referring to it as my "emotional support tape*." 

Instead of judging me for it, my friend, Hillary, leaned in one year and bestowed upon me a dispenser designed to wear on my wrist so I would always have available tape. 

I've never felt more seen.

Another friend of mine who is all too aware of the emotional support tape was chatting with me recently about our respective families' holiday traditions. And while we had different things we liked about the holidays growing up, we found common ground in Christmas stockings. We both opened these first on Christmas morning and both found them to be a highlight of the day. 

I casually mentioned, "You know, my parents used to fill ours with school supplies, which I loved. New pens and glue and tape..."

She stopped, turned to me, and suggested, "Hmmm....you associate tape with your happiest childhood memories and now use it to soothe your anxiety. Looks like we figured you out. Ooh! Ooh! Let's do me!"

*While doing research for this post, I learned that in theater productions, stage managers and crew members refer to gaffer's tape as emotional support tape because they rely on it constantly to mark stages and gear. I feel that is more functional than emotional support, but I would never argue that with theater professionals lest we have to West Side Story rumble it out.