Thursday, November 12, 2009

It's Real...And It's Spectacular

Yesterday, while spending several hours fostering my delusions of grandeur by adding snooty-toot titles in front of my name, I was at work, I received my first invitation to attend an event as a "key influencer."

And not just any event, an event at Radio City Music Hall for "bloggers and other key influencers" to celebrate The Christmas Spectacular in New York City. Which is only something I have wanted to see since I was a kid, having heard nothing but fantastic things about this for as long as I can remember. (It really is one of the quintessential New York City experiences...along with being urinated on and getting yelled at by a deli owner when you don't understand that a "regular" coffee is one that comes with milk and sugar.)

Assignment: In ten words or less, please let me know how I have influenced you, gentle Brutalism reader. Extra points if your comment is in the form of haiku, references fecal matter or is sent from a correctional facility.

The exclusive (If you wondered how much I loved typing that the party I was invited to is “exclusive” and thought “I bet she loved it a lot,” would be right.) party celebrates the 2009 Radio City Christmas Spectacular and would have me mingling with the world-famous Radio City Rockettes, Santa Claus, and other bloggers from the area. (Which, honestly, has been a fantasy of mine since forever. Except that in my version, the Rockettes are naked except for dirty argyle socks, Santa is a Siamese twin, and we are all eating Kentucky hot browns.) (I know. A rather pedestrian fantasy for someone who calls herself "Brutalism.")

So kill me. As awesome as that sounds, I have an awesome conflict and cannot go. This, my friends, is what is known as "bittersweet."

Make me feel better by going to see this fabulous show and by following the (aptly-named) Spectacular on Twitter and Facebook: and And by sending me beer.


Dilettard07 said...

Excrement, poo-poo
Awash on Brutalism
You help me love life

The Absurdist said...

In the assylum,
Flinging poo at the nurses
Thanks Brutalism

Hampers said...

Glad to know that you have received your first invitation to attend an event as a "key influencer and your dream coming true. Wish you a best of luck.

lacochran said...

You can't go?! Your public is devastated!

And impressed.

I, too, wish you a best of luck.

OneZenMom said...

Oh no, how sad that you can't go!

O Brutalism
I love your snarky humor
and your swingin' ways

T1T2 said...

I was once hit in the head with gorilla poop. I dont think he liked me very much.
You make my lonely nights better. :)

Brutalism said...

Tard, J the A, Zen Mom - Bravo on the haikus. Your comments made me so happy today.

Hampers - a) I love your name and want to steal it b) I was somewhat surprised that when I clicked on your link it actually took me to hampers. Whoulda thunk? (Aside: I once knew a guy who always looked so rumpled it was as though he had awakened in the hamper.)

Lacochran -- thanks! I, like my public, am devastated.

Divine Miss M -- please tell me that the gorilla poop story is true. That will make my night better.

dori said...

You think you're disappointed you can't go -- I was having my own delusions of grandeur imagining you'd ask me along as your date. Now I'm crying with you.

As I read your blog
I weep from laughter, not pain
Poo poo poo poo poo

Moooooog35 said...

Here in this prison
I fling fecal matter, brown
All because of you.


That's right, Brutalism...I read you and then want to throw shit at fellow prisoners.

I shall never forget that you've given me this gift.

Brutalism said...

Dori - I like the poo's poetic, really.

Moooooog - I'm a giver. But according to your fellow prisoners, so are you. You never really forget the ones who throw shit at you.

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry you can't attend! i wish i had asked for your autograph before you became a key influencer. now the price will be steep. why does spell check not like influencer? is this not really a word?

Brutalism said...

Cathleen - It HAS to be a word, because I have been designated as one, and therefore, it has to mean something. (Though, to be honest, I was fairly certain that my sphere of influence mainly included 8-year-old boys as we share the same sense of humor.)

dilettante07 said...

Brutalism Blog
My career suffers greatly
My heart rejoices

It's Free said...

1. I would like us all to imagine "Key Influencer" as sung to "Smooth Operator," which was the role I was asked to play at the Christmas Spectacular.

2. There cannot possibly be a conflict that means you cannot go to an event where you may be able to have a name tag indicating you are a Key Influencer, able to help craft the way our democracy views important national policy questions involving the Rockettes.

key influencer
has no internal censor
blog, you are brutal

4. Key Influencer is one of the worst phrases ever.

1 Buddha's Mom said...

You dabble and swing
Brutally flinging feces
I weep silent tears

Brutalism said...

All I know is that if I am a key influencer, I expect all of you to be walking on glass shards this weekend...

dilettante07 said...

Please, like we'd be able to wait for the weekend.

Brutalism said...

Should I be concerned that my "humor blog" is way less funny than the comment stream on every post? You guys kill me.

Lisa said...

Only wish I knew
How to say how you amuse
Guess I never will

I did it! Wooohoooo!

Brutalism said...

Thank you Lisa P.
For loving poo as I do --
More than anything

amber morrison said...

Merkins of hope,
flaming like a bag
of dog poo

dilettante07 said...

When is the Merkins of Hope 5K? I'm thinking of entering this year. My dad could do the chip timing.