Tuesday, November 03, 2009

The Curse Of The Minibar

(Originally posted 12/17/04 -- but deserves another run...)

Have I mentioned that I worked for THE ORGANIZATION THAT DOES NOT HATE FREEDOM for more than five years? One of the best jobs I ever had (and I've had a bunch of 'em). I worked with some of the most fun people during those five years, and I'm sure it had very little to do with the fact that I was single, in my 20s and drinking heavily.

I did a lot of things for NRA and one year I got put on a special project -- the Charlton Heston Celebrity Shoot out in Dana Point, California. Glamour! Excitement! "Celebrities!"

While there, I had a bet with a consultant as to which of us could get our picture taken with the funniest celebrity (funny in a B-list way, not in a "ha ha" way). I ended up winning -- finding and taking a picture with Jerry Mathers. The photo became my Christmas card that year with the greeting, "Merry Christmas. Love, Kathleen and the Beav." I gave one to a friend of mine in grad school who later became my husband. He still likes to joke that the reason he fell for me was that I so freely gave out my "beaver shot."
My Beaver shot.
Earlier in the evening, I was hanging out with Nat from the Peach Pit on Beverly Hills 90210. Seriously, at that time, he was my Brad Pitt -- I so loved 90210. I talked to Nat (still cannot remember his real name) in the bar for an hour or so -- don't remember a lot of it. About a week after I got back from the shoot, however, my sister (who lives in Florida) and I each received autographed head shots of Nat. Apparently, at some point in the evening, I wrote down both addresses and gushed enough to prompt the head shot sending.

But the best story......
One night, I stayed out til four in the morning, partying with some of the celebs at a party that only the cool kids were invited to. Now, because I worked for a non-profit, I was sharing a room with a co-worker on this particular trip. She had gone to bed around 10:00 that night and was fast asleep by the time I found my way back to the room. At this point, the minibar was just screaming to me, so I opened it, found a huge Hershey's chocolate bar and that's the last I remember -- UNTIL....at about 6:00am, I woke up to my roommate standing over my bed and yelling like a maniac. She was practically hysterical...pointing at me and screaming. I jumped up and also started screaming and ran to the bathroom to see what she was pointing at.

Apparently, in the dim light of the hotel room that morning, the choclate bar that I had fallen asleep with had smeared all over my face and bed, looking a lot like blood. She thought someone had come into the room and blugeoned me to death while she slept.

I was still clutching what remained of the chocolate bar -- apparently only willing to give it up once it was pried from my cold, dead hands.

Me and Robert Stack's daughter. She's handsy. Read comment thread.


JenBC said...

Okay. You're a jerk for highlighting this on your blog network. And I'm pathetic for reading a blog post from 2004 and laughing my ass off. "And so to bed..." goddamit

restaurant refugee said...

For some ideological reasons, I almost stopped when I got to Charleton Heston. So glad I didn't because the line from your husband was worth the price of admission, and the minibar story is priceless.

Moooooog35 said...

Can't wait to see the hits you get from people searching on stuff like:

Hershey beaver shot

beaver pit is a peach

cold dead Brad Pitt beaver blood


Brutalism said...

Restaurant Refugee -- Thanks. And yes...the guy is a silver-tongued devil.

Moooooog35 -- And yet, these all seem so tame compared to what you're probably getting after your Halloween post...which may be the funnniest thing I've read in a long time.

OneZenMom said...

I really have to stop reading your blog at work.

Co-workers keep wandering over, attracted by the trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-out-loud noises that apparently make it sound like I might need medical attention.

Dilettard07 said...

Just curious...who were the A (or even B) list celebs there?

Brutalism said...

Tard - Well, Tom Selleck, Rick Schroeder, Ian Ziering (this was early '90s remember...the original 90210 heydey)...Paul Sorvino (yes, the second mention Paul gets in my blog...third mention? Sorvino's mother used to babysit my friend, Meredith when she was a child)...Joe Mantegna, Richard Roundtree ("Shaft"), a couple of Mandrell sisters, Robert Stack (whose drunk daughter hit on me, BTW...)...shall I go on or are you suitably wowed?

dilettante07 said...

No, I think you should go on. Although, it will be tough to top the Mandrell Sisters. Was Charo there?

Dilettard07 said...

Overall suitably impressed, although not surprised (except Roundtree).

Robert Stack's daughter, eh? Huh. I think she would have been a bit old for you. Is she a good shot, though?

Straight Guy said...

Joe E. Tata was the actor who played Nat. Why I know this, I can't really say.

IMPORTANT to note that you had both
(1) a beaver shot
(2) a tata shot


dilettante07 said...

Straight Guy--lucky for you, you reaffirmed your straightness with the second part of your comment (love the tata shot). I was a little worried when you came up with Joey T so swiftly!

Brutalism said...

Holy Crap, Straight Guy -- it was, in fact, Joe E. Tata -- I will have to see if I can get my hands on said head shot.

Loving "tata" shot as well.

And just for the record, I provided neither the beaver nor the tata shot to Robert Stack's daughter.

lacochran said...